Seven Ways to Remove Obstacles

You can have well-planned, daring, or exciting goals and still get knocked off track. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it. When obstacles sneak in, you might feel confused, frustrated, deflated, or mad. Fear not! Pulling together a mixture of tools, strategies, and awareness can help you get past those obstacles so you can do what matters most.

In my experience as an executive coach, stumbling blocks show up primarily in three different ways: 

1. You know you’re stuck and know why but can’t seem to fix it. 

2. You know you’re stuck and have no clue as to why. 

3. You don’t know you’re stuck but know something is amiss. 

You’ve probably felt all of these at some point. I sure have. The difference for me now is that I’m more aware of how I feel when I sense a block in front of me (visible or invisible), more willing to see what’s really in my way, and have more tools to help myself. 

There are two different ways to think of obstacles. Internal: getting in our own way. External: something or someone on the outside getting in our way. Here are four tips for removing the obstructions in your way.

Internal Obstacles

What’s going on inside you can control what happens on the outside. The main culprit is your saboteur voice. This internal voice may be the most dominant, invisible obstacle of all!

I like this definition of saboteur from Positive Intelligence, “Saboteurs are the voices in your head that generate negative emotions in the way you handle life’s everyday challenges. They represent automated patterns in your mind for how to think, feel, and respond. They cause all of your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness. They sabotage your performance, wellbeing, and relationships.”

Your internal saboteur lives to construct obstacles! Here are three ways to deal with that mean inner voice from the book Taming Your Gremlin. 

• Simply notice. These phrases can indicate the saboteur voice is at work: you can’t, you’re not enough, you shouldn’t. When you hear these, simply notice. Don’t argue with it. Don’t negotiate with it. Simply notice. This improves your self-awareness and even though it’s happening on the inside, this skill makes a big difference in what happens on the outside.

• Play with options. “Play” is the operative word here. When you’re playful and curious, your saboteur voice goes into hiding. It likes you to be serious as a heart attack and scared.

• Be in process. This will take hiring someone like a coach or counselor depending on the topic. A professional can take you deeper to get at root causes.

External Obstacles

What’s on the outside of you that might be blocking you? Here are some areas to explore. 

Knowledge

You might want to take on a new project and berate yourself for procrastinating when really, a crucial piece of knowledge may be the missing link between you and your goal or dream. Do you need to learn something new or reach out to someone who’s an expert to get rid of an obstacle? 

Environment

Look around you. Is there something that’s bothering you? For me, this is often clutter. When my space is messier than normal, my mind is more chaotic. When I’ve saved too many documents on the desktop rather than building a good filing system for them, I get frustrated when I can’t find things. These seemingly small bumps in the road can be blocks.

Action

Think about your habits, systems, patterns, the action you’re taking, etc. What are you doing that no longer serves you or is tripping you up? Consider letting that go and replacing it with a new action that will move you toward your vision. For example, I’ve had clients who didn’t have a system for setting and tracking their goals. By designing a system that works for them, they knock down obstacles and achieve more meaningful goals.

Think about an area you feel stuck and then, think of one tiny habit that will get you moving in the direction you want to go. In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear shares a story about a man who wanted to exercise. The first habit he developed was going to the gym for five minutes. After he became a person who goes to the gym, he started adding time in small increments. I love this because even taking baby steps in the direction you want to go sparks momentum.

Obstacles happen. Don’t let them stop you from reaching your well-planned, daring, or exciting goals! You can get past what’s blocking you. Start with some of these tips and add some of your own to build strategies that work best for you. I’d love to hear what you do when obstacles pop-up! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part seven in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self-leadership. You can read the previous post here.

Allow Your Wild & Wonderful Wants to Bloom: A Method to Uncover What You Want

What do you want? This question is simple on the surface but the answers to it can sculpt your life, define your goals, and bring a myriad of emotions from frustration to fulfillment. By declaring what you want, you’re also deciding what you don’t want, and drawing a blueprint from which to build your goals. Consider the definition of want: to feel a need or a desire for; wish for. When was the last time you thought about what you truly wanted, desired, wished for?

My coach asked me to write what I wanted in 30 days, 90 days, 12 months, 5 years, and 10 years. I enthusiastically dove into the assignment. Knowing what I wanted in the next 30 days was easy. Knowing what I wanted in all the other time frames stumped me. I felt surprised and confused! How could I possibly not be able to write what I wanted? Rather than quickly getting the assignment done, I decided to dig in to figure out what was getting in my way.

First, I did a session of wild writing to gain insights into what was driving me from the inside out. This technique, outlined by Natalie Goldberg in Wild Mind, is designed to bypass your inner critic and get to your inner operating system. Every time I do it, I see the situation from a new viewpoint. 

If you’d like to try it, there are a few simple rules: 1) Hold a topic in mind. Example: What do I want? 2) Use a prompt to write for two, 10-minute sessions. Example: For session one, I know… and for session two, I don’t know… 3) Go for the jugular. In other words, don’t hold back; know you can destroy it later if you choose to. 4) Read what you wrote and circle what stands out to you. 

From my wild writing session, I realized that I wasn’t allowing myself to want what I really wanted. I felt like it was too much to ask for, felt anxious and afraid. Yikes. I could hear that inner saboteur voice coming through loud and clear. It said things like, who are you to want that, that’s too much, you should be more humble. The kryptonite to that kind of inner dialog is light-hearted play, so I played. 

I gave myself full permission to write (with fun, colored markers on my whiteboard!) whatever I wanted in each of those time frames. It could be ridiculous, gigantic, tiny, fun, serious – no boundaries! Viewing it from a third person perspective was also helpful. Example: What does future Jalene want? I left what I wrote on my whiteboard for a while so I could gradually hone it. I reminded myself repeatedly that I could want whatever I truly wanted.

Writing what I wanted led naturally to visualizing it. Seeing glimpses of what future Jalene wanted her life to look like from 30 days to 10 years felt powerful. Plus, I knew it was going to make my goals more potent when it came time to write them.

Next, I wanted to breathe life into my vision, to operationalize it, to make it part of my routine. Now it’s one of nine components on a Self-Leadership Blueprint that I designed. The document hangs on the wall near my desk and is read weekly within about 5 minutes. As I read it, I’m reminded of where I am now and where I want to go the future. That’s huge for me!

I can be super-efficient at being busy with what needs done right now, what’s urgent and even important, but lose sight of the big picture I’m painting of my whole life. 

Examining my wants has grown like a field of wildflowers in my life, popping up in unexpected places, bringing splashes of color to mundane decisions. I hear the word want when it shows up in everyday internal dialog. For example: What do I want to eat? What do I want to do next? Where do I want to go on vacation? Those all seem like simple questions and yet, they will shape me physically (what I eat), how I use my precious time (what I do), and how I enjoy myself (vacation). 

Bottom line, actions based on consciously choosing what you want will bring feelings of fulfillment, contentment, and satisfaction. The return on your investment of time couldn’t be higher. I challenge you to find your way of discovering what you truly want. I’d love to hear how you unearthed your wants! Email me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part two in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership. You can read the previous post here.

Paddle Toward Your Vision

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Our responsibilities can toss us around like we’re rafting through white-water rapids without a paddle. Our direction feels like it’s utterly controlled by the river. This is how it can feel when we don’t have a clear vision and goals guiding us to where we want to go.

I knew where I was heading and how I was going to get there before the pandemic hit. And then, for a while there, it felt like I was on a wild river without a paddle! To stick with this metaphor…now I see my path forward and have paddles in-hand to take me where I want to go. Here’s what my route looked like.

1. First, I felt mad and frustrated.

2. Then, I took advantage of several virtual learning opportunities.

3. Slowly, a new vision of my future began to emerge.

4. Recently, I wrote my new vision and goals and feel more focused and productive than ever.

In the past, I would have lingered longer in a state of busyness that gave me a false sense of purpose based on getting something done. This time, I went inside first to clarify what I wanted and how to get it. I didn’t get lost in wishing things were different. I took action – even though it was mostly uncomfortable – to make changes from the inside out.

Imagine you have a blank canvas in front of you and that your vision and goals are going to paint your future. Like every artist’s work is original, your approach will be your own. Use the ideas below to stimulate your inner creative, visionary.

Clarify Your Vision

Choose the exercise(s) that will help you paint your vision of the future.

• Write or Mind Map what you want your future to look like. Include every sensory detail possible and the aspect of your life that you want to focus on now.

• Use the Wild Writing technique by Natalie Goldberg. This method helps bypass the inner critic and get to what I call our inner operating system. Hold the topic of your vision in mind. Write for 10-minutes using the prompt “I know…” and then (shake your hand out!), and use the prompt “I don’t know…” to write for another 10-minutes. Follow these rules:

  • Don’t lift your pen from the paper.

  • Keep writing no matter what. If you don’t know what to write then write “I don’t know what to write” until something else comes.

  • Go for the jugular. You can burn or shred it later!

  • Don’t go back and correct anything. You can do that when you’re finished.

• Consider these questions through writing, speaking the answers into your phone, pondering them while walking, or sharing them with someone you trust.

  • What do I want more of in my life? What do I want less of in my life?

  • If I could wave a magic wand, I would…

  • If I were to step into a way of being that represents me more fully, I would…

• Make a Vision Board by gluing images to paper that represent the future you want. Tips: Choose metaphorical images such as facial expressions that represent how you want to feel or images that represent something tangible you want like a new BBQ grill, dog, or house. Use any paper you want. I’ve used everything from letter-size to poster-size. Give yourself uninterrupted time to create this visual image of your future.

Craft Your Goals

Disclaimer: I have a love/hate relationship with goals. I hate declaring what I will do because it means I have to abandon (for now!) some of my bright shiny ideas. I love that goals tether me, in the best way possible, to the future I want.

Goals work when they’re held within a system that works for you. Design your process. Work with it. Innovate it over and over again so it’s a valuable tool for you.

Tips for building a goal system:

• Connect them to your values and vision.

• Language matters so use words that inspire you (for example, instead of goal use action or target).

• Key Results (which I call Desires) set a general direction (such as connect with clients, earn a healthy income, etc.).

• Monthly and Quarterly Goals maintain focus on specific actions to achieve Key Results. These are the S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound).

• Post Key Results and Goals in a prominent spot to minimize Squirrel! moments.

• Share the results out loud monthly, with a person you trust, to stay true to yourself.

• Take 15-minutes in the morning to write what you will do that day.

• Consider what will support you in terms of habits, people, structures, etc.

• Celebrate often! Based on neuroscience, celebration teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. I like to raise my arm in the air and say, “Yay me!”

Discerning your vision and goals will make riding the river of life much more fulfilling and meaningful. I’m a geek when it comes to learning about goal systems so I’d love to hear what yours looks like. Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

The Power of Coming Back to Your Foundation

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Experiencing imbalance and balance is part of living. How might we lead ourselves from chaos to order? Carl Jung said, “In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” There’s a new way forward waiting for you to discover it. Before making direction-changing decisions, check the integrity of your foundation. Who are you now?

During a coaching session, my client was grappling with a decision that would change the trajectory of her career. She felt clear about what she didn’t want; however, the vision for what she wanted was still fuzzy. We were working together on clarifying her future when she brilliantly said, “I want to revisit my foundation.” To her that meant recognizing what she learned in her current professional role over the last several years, plus naming her values, priorities, and focus.

Whether it’s your career or another aspect of your life that you want to make changes in, don’t start with the vision. Inspect your foundation first. Get to know the person you’ve become, then build your foreseeable future on that bedrock.

Here are some tools to use in your discovery process.

What are the values I choose to live by now?

Values are who we are. They’re not who we’d like to be or who we think we should be. Values describe how we’re living right now. Whether you have your values listed or not, take a fresh look at them.

Here are five different pathways to your values. Experiment with one or more until you’ve unearthed the values that are most meaningful to you, the values that will forge your robust foundation.

• Bring to mind a peak moment in your life, one that was especially rewarding or poignant. What were the values being honored in that moment?

• Bring to mind a moment when you were angry, frustrated, or upset. Name what you were feeling and then flip it to reveal a value. For example, if feeling trapped or cornered caused you extreme frustration, freedom might be one of your values.

• What are your “must haves?” What do you need to feel fulfilled, rewarded, satisfied? For example, you might need creative expression or adventure or excitement.

• Ask yourself these questions from Growing Influence by Ron Price and Stacy Ennis. What are the values by which I govern myself? What are the values by which I relate to others?

• Narrow down your values to only two (yes two!) by asking yourself these questions from Dare to Lead by Brenè Brown. Does this define me? Is this who I am at my best? Is this a filter that I use to make hard decisions?

If you want to look at a list of values as a resource for widening your vocabulary, there are plenty of great resources online. Simple search for a values list.

Don’t rush the process. You may know your values right away or you may want to try some on for a while to see if they fit. Our values can change over time, so give yourself permission to let go of the ones that served you well in the past, and embrace the values that you connect with now.

What do I want to prioritize now?

Start by reading through the lists below. Which area – Life, Leadership, or Career – would you like to focus on now?

Areas of Life                           Areas of Leadership              Areas of Career Career                                     Plan/Budget                            Autonomy

Family & Friends                     Promote Change                     Income

Romance    Stability & Order  Relationships

Fun & Recreation                   Motivate/Inspire                     Vision/Strategy

Health                                     Problem Solve                         Managing Change

Money                                     Align People                            Development

Personal Growth                   Organize/Staff                        Creativity

Physical Environment           Establish Direction                  Support

Next, rank your satisfaction in each of the categories below the area you chose. For example, in the area of Life, the first category is Career. Use a scale of 1-10: 0 = extremely dissatisfied and 10 = extremely satisfied.

Last, choose which of the categories you want to focus on improving. This is where it might get tricky. You don’t have to select the lowest ranked one. You get to choose based on what’s most important to you now. You might pick the one that will mitigate the most pain, the one that will have the biggest positive impact or the one that’s most exciting to you.

I know, choosing can be hard! And yet, it will propel you forward in seemingly magical ways. I like what Tony Robbins has to say about it, Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.

By naming your values and prioritizing, you give yourself a firm foundation to stand on. From this clear, stable, and steady place, what’s one step that you will take right now to move you 10% closer to what you want? I’d love to hear about your experience with this! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Befriending Measurements

I recently had a meeting with a colleague during which I was vigorously sharing my detailed analysis of 2019 and a clear plan for 2020. My colleague paused, starring at one number and said, “Wait. Did you say all of this is income going away?” I flippantly said, “Yes, but look at what I have planned!” Suddenly I saw that even though I had looked at the numbers, I hadn’t truly seen the one with the negative impact. 

My enthusiastic nature leads me toward highlighting positive progress, and even hiding negative indicators so I won’t see them and feel like a failure. This is nice of my inner cheerleader but not helpful in the long run. 

Tracking progress toward goals can evoke procrastination, trepidation, and down-right fear. If you aimed high, saw what you wanted to accomplish, and we’re excited about the possibilities, it can be hard to compare your ideal vision with the stark reality of what actually happened.

Yet your ability to see clearly is directly related to skills of self-awareness (the foundation of emotional intelligence) and self-leadership. How can you lead yourself in viewing measurements in a way that will help you accomplish what matters most?

Here are some ideas—using self-awareness and leadership—to design your own measurement and goal-achievement process.

Internal Dialog

If you’re prone to slipping into less-than-kind self-talk, prepare in advance. Remind yourself that the measurement reflects what you’re doing, not your worth as a person. Notice what you’re saying to yourself and be kind. What would you say to a friend facing a similar situation? Brené Brown reminds us, “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” What we say to ourselves internally can transform doom-and-gloom thinking into self-compassion that will energize us to take positive steps forward. 

Before evaluating results, start by centering yourself with a breathing exercise. For example, use the four-square breathing technique. Count to four as you breathe in, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four, and repeat a few times. When you look at the results you’re measuring, notice what you say to yourself internally. If needed, change your self-talk to be more helpful. Being kind to yourself takes practice and is crucial in self-awareness and leadership.

Perspective Shift

Write or think about the results from a perspective that’s meaningful for you. What’s important about the goal related to the measurement you’re tracking? How does it connect to your whole business or life? How does it align or not align with your values? Sometimes a tiny viewpoint variation makes a gigantic difference. According to Wayne Dyer, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Try it for yourself.

Feedforward Lantern

Think of measurements as feedback pointing the way to the future—feedforward. How is the measurement that you’re viewing helping you see what to do in the future? Imagine the measurement as a lantern shining the way forward on a path toward the future that you want to create. What is the measurement illuminating? Do you need to change directions? Do you need to continue on the same path for a while longer? Based on what you see, have the courage to choose the next step forward.

Habit Highlight

Is there a habit to start or stop that will help you do better? James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says, “Habit formation is a long race. It often takes time for the desired results to appear. And while you are waiting for the long-term rewards of your efforts to accumulate, you need a reason to stick with it in the short-term. You need some immediate feedback that shows you are on the right path.” Measurements are that immediate feedback.

See It Your Way

How do you like to look at your measurements? I love using colored markers and big flip charts or whiteboards every chance I get. The colors make it more fun and writing helps connect me to the data. Upbeat music is the cherry on top! My last step in the analysis is now to say it out loud to another human for a reality check. How do you like to view what you’re tracking? Does it help to have a colleague to share with? Do you love Excel spreadsheets, tables, or mind maps? Consider trying a new method. Notice what works for you and do it.

By improving your skills in self-awareness and self-leadership, you notice what works best for you and then lead yourself forward. Measurements are your friend, your co-conspirator in accomplishing what matters most. How might you befriend measurements? I’d love to hear about your approach. Send me a note.

Fear is the villain and practice is the shero.

I’ve been doing a lot of things for the first time in the last year as part of running my business. Last week I did two things that scared the heck out of me and yet, I felt this pull like a wave to the shore that compelled me to do them. Here’s the thing — I wish I felt less afraid during the process!

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A metaphor representing fear and practice came to me. Fear is like the villain in a movie. It’s sinister, lurking in the dark, watching for the right moment to attack me. Its most debilitating weapons are self-doubt and jolts of near panic in my stomach.

Practice is the shero. She reminds me that every single time I practice the new thing I want to get better at doing, fear weakens. This insight gave me an idea.

The two things I did last week that scared me were related to public speaking. It’s not just about improving as a public speaker. It’s deeper than that. I want to connect with people in a way that inspires them to reflect on who they're being and what they're doing to create lives they love.

Here’s how I’m going to practice. In a private, secret Facebook group me and a few other people with similar goals are going to practice giving Facebook Live talks. I think of it as my voice gym. My commitment is to do a 1-3 minute FB Live talk about what I’m noticing every day for 30-days starting in July.

I know that whatever we’re practicing, we’re improving. Join me! Choose something important to you to practice during the month of July and send me an email (jalene@jalenecase.com) to let me know how it’s going.

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What do you want to get better at doing?

How will you practice it?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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I believe that creating lives we love (at home and at work!) starts with our hearts.

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That belief is woven throughout my work as an Executive & Personal Coach and in facilitating Professional and Personal Development. Reach out to me to talk about how my offerings might serve you and/or your organization.

Let's connect!

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JaleneCase.com • (541) 272-2337

What's Next?

Failing & Hiding

Hi!

I've been writing a blog post every week since the first of the year and this week, I failed. Yup. I didn't do it. Rather than beat myself up, I forgive myself with love and compassion. I've been stretching into some new areas lately and I imperfectly juggled the balls I have in the air (like blogging!).

The stuff I've been doing for the first time include singing lessons (to strengthen my speaking voice), prepping to speak at a Women's Symposium, and facilitating a team using some psychometric tools designed to help them learn about their behaviors and motivators. I'll have lots of insights to share soon!

In the meantime, I thought you'd enjoy reading this blog post from a person who continually inspires me -- Jennifer Louden. Her blog post is titled, "When are you going to come out of hiding?"

I am definitely coming out of hiding these days! How 'bout you?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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Giant Step, Baby Steps (repeat)

Ten years ago, Keith and I married in a special cove that can only be reached at low tide, below the Yaquina Head lighthouse in Newport, Oregon. Last weekend, I facilitated the final day of a private women’s retreat above that spot. It felt like a time warp.

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Yaquina Head Lighthouse. Photo by Chad Case, Chad Case Photography & Video, April 2008

While there, it occurred to me that ten years ago I also started a Masters degree program with the dream of doing the work I’m doing today. Wow. I never would have imagined that it would take a decade to realize that dream. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to begin.

Looking back, I realized that I have taken a giant step, then tons of baby steps that take me to the next giant step, then tons of baby steps…and so on. Professionally, this is the birds-eye view of what it looked like.

Giant Step: Left a 22-year career. (2008)

Baby Steps: Started Master’s degree program to change professions. Started a job in a completely new field. Completed a 3-year degree program.

Giant Step: Gave ourselves 2-years to ride our motorcycles to the southern tip of South America. (2015)

Baby Steps: Traveled by motorcycle in Latin America with challenges, magic, learning, and so much more.

Giant Step: Went all-in on my dream business. (2017)

Baby Steps: I’m working on these now!

Of course, there are zillions more baby steps that I’m not listing here but I'm pretty sure you get the picture.

We can’t know how long it will take for our dreams to fully come alive. The best we can do is to have the guts to take those giant steps, and the tenaciousness and heart to keep taking those everyday, seemingly meaningless baby steps until one day (like the day last weekend at the women’s retreat!) we realize that our dream is alive.

What’s your dream?

What did (or will!) your Giant Step look like?  

What are the Baby Steps propelling your forward?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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Are you ready to accomplish your dream? I'd love to hear all about it and help you move from, "I wish I could (fill in the blank)" to "Wow! Yes! I did it!" Schedule a complimentary Curious About Coaching session to learn more.

Can you think of a business team that could get along better and accomplish more? I help teams improve their communication and get the right work done. Contact me to learn more.

Join Me Here

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.

Self Care Shine

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Why oh why do we think it’s selfish to take superb care of ourselves? I don’t think that…anymore.

This is one of the many inner changes that came from traveling on a motorcycle for 23 months. (More on that here if you haven’t heard the story.)

I make way less money now than I’ve made in decades and yet, I spend more on self care than I ever have. Crazy, right?

As we prepared to return from our travels in South America last year, I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what would happen if I committed to taking awesome care of myself for a year?” I daydreamed of joining a yoga studio, getting back into running, getting regular massages, eating well, and not overloading my plate with “to dos.” It hasn’t turned out exactly as I had envisioned, but it looks pretty close and the results, almost a year later, have been shocking. Here are a few:

• On the inside, it feels like I’m on my own side.

• I trust myself more often to do what I say I'm going to do for myself.

• I do my best to tend my energy rather than spend it until it’s over spent.

• None of that familiar whine, “I’m soooo tired.”

• I feel good in my body, stand taller, thrill in nudging myself further in yoga.

Now I think of self care as the special sauce for success!

I’m not preaching; I’m learning right along with you. Of course I’m not perfect at this, that’s not the aim. I’m with myself for the rest of my life so it just makes good sense to take care of myself. Why oh why is that such a whacky concept for us to get our heads around? Now it’s your turn…

What do you do for basic self-care?

Now kick it up a notch. What does superb self-care look like for you?

I double-dare you to try it for 3 months, 6 months, or a year!

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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I help individuals make the jump from wishing to doing, and professional teams transform from awkward tension to potent interaction.

Here are 2 offerings for you. Give yourself the precious gift of time to learn more about who you are now and what's most important to you.

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.