Why Less is More When It Comes to Goals

Envisioning a magical scenario in which you’re doing everything you want to is exhilarating, in the beginning. However, adding a dose of realism can give you the best chance of accomplishing what matters most to you.

I see this in myself, my clients, and my friends. We want to do it all right now! We have the best of intentions and list of exciting to dos. Fanning the “do it all” flame is an internal voice that says something like, “When I do it all, I’ll be happy.” Ouch.

In the first month of working with a business coach, I sent a long email with all my precious plans. Secretly I thought he’d be impressed. Instead, his reply was precisely, “Rank the three most important items.” Another ouch! I truly believed that they were all important and thought there was no way I could choose only three.

Now, I’m in that messy space of growing my prioritizing skills and while it’s not a pleasant experience, the end results are bringing me a sense of grounded, purpose and calm. And yes, I managed to choose only three most important items.

 “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Neil Peart

Before I dive into making tough choices, which I don’t enjoy doing, I like to take a deep breath and remind myself of why I want to what matters most. Think big picture. Why is it important for you to do the things on your list?

Keep your why in mind as you continue reading.

Ruthlessly Choosing

Start with a brain dump. Write everything that you want to do. Let yourself go wild! If it’s helpful, you can make lists by areas. Ex. work, home, physical, learning, fun, etc.

Next, choose the three things that you will do during each of the following time periods: 30 days, 90 days, and 12 months.

If you want to challenge yourself, list ten things you want to do in the next 10 years.

Warning: Beware of your internal voice. The process of choosing can activate your inner gremlins. Watch out for internal dialogue like this: You don’t need to choose! You’re smart, you really can do it all! No, I don’t want to choose! If I don’t do it all I’m a loser! Look at (insert name of a person you admire) he/she can do it all! Simply notice that mean inner voice but do not engage with it. (Note: The reason I used all exclamation points is because your saboteur voice is loud and insistent while your authentic voice is quiet and calm.)

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown

Consistently Focusing

Now that you know what you want to focus on, how will you support yourself in sticking to it? For me, I know I can’t do it alone. I need what I call the “Weight Watchers” approach. On a regular basis, I need to “weigh-in” in front of another human being to keep me out of the denial zone and in the real zone.

You could hire a coach, partner-up with a friend, colleague, or family member, and/or join a group such as a mastermind that includes accountability. Another person might ask questions or share observations that spur your commitment or make you more aware of what does (and does not!) help you.

To prepare for meeting with your support tribe, you’ll need to track your progress. Developing a system that works for you is the key here. The basic elements for a goal system are writing what you will do, when you will do it, and why it’s important to you. While you’re working hard to keep it real, magic can happen.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” Tony Robbins

Joyfully Celebrating

Don’t skip this part! Neuroscience shows that celebrating teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. Find a way that feels good to you. Try putting your arms in the air and saying, “Yes!” or “Yay me!” Do a happy dance. Keep track of your little and big wins by writing them down. Oh, and have a wee bit of fun while you do it.

“The more you celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Oprah Winfrey

You can do this! Choose, focus, celebrate and pay attention to what happens next. I’d love to hear the tips and tricks you use and the ones you learn as you work through this process. Send them to me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Create a Goal System that Works for You With These 13 Ideas to Get Started

Simply setting a goal and expecting to reach it is a recipe for ongoing angst. A goal you truly desire to achieve needs a solid foundation, stepping stones, and tenacious support.

Conversations with my clients lately almost always include the mention of goal-setting. While that may sound logical, that’s not the energy I sense. I hear things like, “I should set some goals for next year. I really want to set some goals but I’m no good at it. I’ve tried doing the goal thing but it doesn’t work for me.” The energy I sense is frustration, self-judgement, and desperation.

I’m with you! I used to feel the same way. Setting goals was no fun. The process led to beating myself up for forgetting to look at the brilliant goals I had written and then when I finally read them again, realizing I had allowed shiny ideas to distract me from what I truly wanted to accomplish. Not anymore.

I’ve built a system to support myself; however, I’m not prescribing my process for you. Instead, I’ll share the components of it so you can create your own awesome way to do what matters most to you. I purposely didn’t go into detail on every element because my intent is to give you enough information to use as a springboard in creating your own system.

Before we begin, let’s set a larger context for goals. The purpose of designing a goal system is for you to create a life you love. Goals are simply the stepping stones along the way. As you continue reading, feel free to change the words to fit your style. Words matter; they can be a turn-off or a turn-on! Also, choose the parts that feel right for you and let the rest go.

Start with a Solid Foundation

This bedrock will be a continuous source of strength for you. I recommend keeping it front and center as a reminder of the larger purpose of your goals.

Annual Theme: Choose a word or phrase to represent your guiding theme for the year. Ex. Fierce Focus, Create a Life I Love, Generosity and Abundance

Values: Which 2-5 values define who you are at your best? Ex. Connection, Usefulness, Curiosity, Courage

Purpose: If you got to design a billboard on a super-busy road, what would you say? Ex. Do what matters most. Be kind.

Love Notes to Myself: What encouraging words do you want to hear? Ex. Keep It Simple Sweetie (K.I.S.S.). Yay you! You got this!

Lay Out the Stepping Stones

This is the working information about your goals. Choose a location and format that works best for you such as a spreadsheet, notebook, or app.

Key End Result: What’s the overall objective or desire? You’ll have 3-5 of these areas. Ex. Build an effective goal system.

Internal Belief: What do you want to believe about that key end result? Ex. I can achieve meaningful goals.

Measurable Action: What are you going to do to achieve that key end result, and when will you do it by? You’ll have several of these for each key end result. Ex. I will start building my goal system by answering each of the questions in the “solid foundation” section by December 31, 2020.

Simple Step: What is one thing you can do immediately to accomplish the measurable action? These will keep the momentum going on your measurable actions. Ex. Schedule 30 minutes to work on my goal system.

Give Yourself Tenacious Support

I’m not going to lie. Sticking with a goal system takes work. But don’t get overwhelmed! It’s totally worth it when you see your desires becoming reality. This last section will make the difference between losing interest in your snazzy new goal system and continually innovating it as you evolve. Tenacious support means giving yourself what you need to be successful.

Visualize: Using all of your senses, what does it look and feel like when your goal is accomplished? Ex. Create a Vision Board or write a detailed description.

Character Traits: Which character traits will support you in reaching your goals? Ex. I will be courageous, tenacious, and kind to others and myself.

People Support: Who will support you in reaching your goals? Ex. Hire a Coach. Start or join a Mastermind group. Find an accountability partner to check in with on a regular basis.

Self-Care: (The secret sauce!) How will you take care of yourself so you have the kind of energy that will support you best? Ex. Exercise on a regular basis. Set aside time to be alone with yourself. Journal. Make art. Get regular massages. Do what makes you feel energized!

Celebrate Often: How will you celebrate the tiny and gigantic successes? Ex. Fist pump in the air while saying, “Yay you!” Share with a friend or colleague. Do a happy dance. Give yourself a special treat.

Now is when the fun and creativity begin. Choose what stands out for you. Innovate. Build your goal system to support yourself in doing what’s most meaningful, important, and exhilarating for you. You got this! If you have questions, I would be happy to support you. Connect with me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Move from Blocking to Supporting Yourself

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“I’m my own worst enemy!” Have you ever said this or heard a friend or colleague say it? It can feel frustrating and demotivating to know precisely what we want to accomplish yet take actions that move us in the opposite direction. How can you get out of your own way and support yourself in getting more of what you want?

After working in organizations for more than three decades, I started my own business a few years ago. It surprised me that the gnarliest challenges came from inside me, not from the external skills I was learning. Internal voices that overly criticized and structures that didn’t work blocked me from reaching my goals, dreams, and life purpose. Yes. It’s a big deal! Growing skills to support ourselves is essential if we want to create purposeful, meaningful, lives we love.

While I needed to learn many external, hard skills, I found that those were relatively easy. It was the internal, soft skills that were the trickiest yet had the most far-reaching, positive impact. The exercises that I share below have the potential to change more than you might imagine. Experiment. Pay attention to what’s happening on the outside as a result of the work you’re doing inside.

Subtract What Blocks You

Saboteur Voice

This self-sabotaging voice is also called inner critic or negative self-talk. It’s trying to keep us safe by holding us back so a lion doesn’t eat us. As we venture beyond our comfort zone, it springs into action. It usually sounds mean and loud. Its sentences might start with words such as “you can’t, you should, you must, you’re not enough,” or “you don’t deserve.”

How can you get rid of the Saboteur? Unfortunately, you can’t remove it 100%. However, you can block it from taking control. The most powerful tool you have is to simply notice it and name it. That’s it.

To begin noticing what your inner critic says, bring to mind something new and difficult that you did recently. Then, take a minute and jot down what the Saboteur was saying to you internally during that experience. For example, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!” Remember, simply notice.

Identifying your Saboteur’s language means you’ll recognize it sooner so you can boot it out of the driver’s seat and into the back seat where it belongs.

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are hidden in our subconscious minds and constrain us in some way. Because we unconsciously believe them, we don’t do or say things that they inhibit. For example, “I don’t deserve to earn a six-figure income.” That type of limiting belief constrains your actions.

Working with a professional coach is an excellent way to unearth these limiting beliefs. For now, here’s a hack for you. Rather than identifying your limiting beliefs, do the reverse. Write as many answers as you can using this prompt: “I want to believe …”

Keep your list of what you want to believe in a place you see it often to consciously choose your beliefs.

Digging down into these areas is usually not pleasant. I know from experience. I also know that the reward is worth it.

Add What Supports You

Sage Voice

Your Sage Voice is here to give you some love! This voice sounds kind and quiet, which means it takes intention to hear it. It says things like, “You got this! You’re learning so give yourself a break. It’s going to be okay.”

The best way to connect with your Sage is to stop for a moment. Even pausing for ten seconds makes a difference. My favorite ways are to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, stand outside for a few minutes doing nothing but sensing my surroundings, listen to a guided meditation, or take a walk.

Create a Container

Designing a container for yourself can bring freedom and fun. Really! My definition of a container is a system or framework that supports you. This will look different for all of us. Start by designing what you think will work for you now and then continue refining it as you learn and grow. The first step is the toughest!

For example, in order for me to feel free to work and have fun along the way, I need processes and people.

For my processes, I have structures in place for goals, daily tasks, writing blogs, recording videos, morning rituals, and monthly e-letters. Those systems bring me calm focus and a sense of accomplishment.

Here’s what I mean by needing people to support me. I thrive with a coach, an accountability partner, groups with a shared vision such as The Complete Leader program, and regularly doing yoga classes and running with a friend.

Your container will vary based on your needs. Imagine this as an infrastructure that supports you in doing what’s most important to you. What will help you be at your best?

By noticing your self-talk, choosing what you want to believe, and creating your container, you will be your biggest ally. I’d love to hear what your support system looks like! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Drop Your Armor to Get What You Want

What would it look like to drop the armor you’ve been using to defend yourself? What are you protecting yourself from? I believe we want to shield our soul’s desires because we don’t want to risk injuring them. The crazy thing is that when we keep them locked up in a tower with the draw bridge lifted, we block out fulfillment, accomplishment, and joy.

A coaching client shared that she wanted to drop her armor and put down her weapons. The declaration surprised me because we were talking about what she wanted to do, not what someone else was asking her to do. As we dug deeper, she realized that she was blocking herself with unhelpful, unkind thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. Knowing what she wanted was not the problem. Allowing herself to make progress toward her practical goals and soul’s desires was the challenge she faced.

A typical strategy is to identify the besieging thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. Instead, my client and I opted for the opposite approach. She laid down her armor and gave herself permission to imagine what she wanted rather than what she didn’t want.

For a few minutes, allow your illusory armor to drop, set down your shield and weapons, and give yourself permission to open to what you want.

What do you want to think?

Thoughts become things. It’s that simple and that complex, which is why there have been many books written and movies made on the topic. The average person has around 48.6 thoughts per minute, which adds up to 70,000 thoughts per day, according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California.

Let’s narrow this down. Bring to mind one thing that you really, truly want to do, have, or achieve. What do you want to think about your approach to doing it? What do you want to think about your chances of being successful at doing it? Give yourself permission to think those thoughts, even though it might feel scary right now to do it.

The thoughts may sound like: I got the promotion. I have a successful business. My body is strong and healthy. Every day I meditate for at least one minute. I’m a great listener.

What do you want to believe?

On the opposite side of what you want to believe is your limiting beliefs. I want to acknowledge that there’s value in unearthing your limiting beliefs so you can see and choose to change them. However, for now, you’re going to give your full attention to what you want to believe without diving into your unconscious limiting beliefs.

Put yourself in a location and state of mind that will allow you to freely imagine what you want to believe. Write as many as you can – 20, 40, 60 or more! For example: I want to believe that I make healthy eating choices. I want to believe that the best outcome will happen. I want to believe that I am creating a life I love. I want to believe that I earn enough money for myself and enough to share with others.

When you’re done for now, put the list in a place you can see and read it often. Act as if you believe them. Begin to validate them by noticing what happens when your actions reflect your beliefs.

What do you want to feel?

The first step in developing emotional intelligence is to practice self-awareness. In other words, to notice what you’re feeling. The next step is to regulate yourself, to choose your actions rather than unconsciously blurting out whatever you think or feel. In this same vein, consider how you want to feel.

Bring to mind a situation that causes you angst. Let’s say, Monday mornings. Perhaps, on Sunday evening you begin thinking about Monday morning and feel anxious, depressed, or worried. What would you like to feel instead? What if you felt inspired, upbeat, or proud? In your mind, practice saying what you want to feel.

What do you want to do?

Doing what you truly want to do starts on the inside with your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. But magic can’t happen until you take action.

When I was an executive director, an endowment consultant once told me that while developing a strategic plan is crucial, she knew that magic would happen once we got out there and took action. She was right. We achieved a multi-million-dollar goal with happy surprises that happened while we were working our plan. (Thank you, Jill Burnette.)

Choose one thing that you want to accomplish. What action will you commit to taking that will move you toward what you want? Baby steps and tiny habits are astonishingly effective! Know that magic can happen when you start taking action.

You might rearrange your routine to accommodate 30 minutes, three days a week, for writing, art-making, or walking. After brushing your teeth at night, you might meditate for one minute.

Our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions can form impenetrable defenses that block us from everything – the sorrow and the joy. Or, we can drop the armor, lower the draw bridge and let the good in. I’d love to hear which of these areas made a difference for you. Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

One-Thing Thinking

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The concept of choosing one thing, as in — one project, one focus, one goal — has shown up in two ways this week and it has me re-thinking my thinking.

First, I listened to a one-hour talk by author Jessica Abel in which she shared the concept of examining our “idea debt inventory” and choosing one project to give our focus. It hit home because I always have tons of ideas begging for my attention (aka “idea debt”) and the notion of choosing only one to focus on at a time brought on gut wrenching anxiety. I noticed that physical sensation, breathed into the near-panic happening inside my body, and continued listening to why choosing one thing makes sense.

The reason that struck me most is that when we choose just one single thing, our minds keep working on it even after we step away from the computer. This leads to getting that one chosen thing accomplished sooner than moving several ideas forward at a snail’s pace.

Second, I started listening to a book that’s been on my Audible.com wish list for several months -- The One Thing, The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller. I haven’t finished the book yet, however I’m really enjoying it. I’m sure I’ll have more to share as I learn from it and use the material to help me in the process of choosing my one thing.

These two experiences felt like a one-two punch and it has my attention. It’s time for me to choose one overall focus for my business and, based on that choice, one project until it’s finished.

What’s the one thing that you want to give your focused attention?

In the spirit of learning,

Jalene

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Can you think of a business with a staff that would benefit by getting to know more about each other so they can communicate better, get the right work done, and enjoy themselves more? I work within organizations as a trainer, facilitator, and executive coach. Learn more here: Professional Development

Can you think of a person who could use some extra support during an extraordinary time of change, who wants to feel more comfortable in their own skin, or who wants to take on an enormous goal? I coach via phone or online so the person can live anywhere in the world. Learn more here: Executive & Personal Coaching

If anyone pops into your mind, please connect us in whatever way works for you:

• Share my contact info with them:  email: Jalene@JaleneCase.com and website: www.JaleneCase.com 

• Send an email to both us introducing us to each other.

• Send me the person’s contact info.

Hand on heart...thank you :)

Join Me Here

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.

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Unsexy Basics

It's so invigorating to envision the business I'm building, the life I'm creating, and the next big project I'm going to birth.

What's not so exciting is doing the unsexy basics that support all of the above mentioned juicy stuff such as taking the exams to earn certifications, telling myself "no" when ideas don't fit, holding myself accountable for the goals I set, and setting up the accounting structure. 

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I love this clever structure I saw on a recent beach walk! It reminds me that the structures we create, including our unsexy basics, can be uniquely ours.

This week, I've experienced the thrill of completing exams to receive certifications in an Emotional Intelligence assessment process, and to become an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation. Plus, Quickbooks is set-up, and up-to-date. These are part of the foundation for my business.

These things on my to do list have been taunting me for a couple of months. This week I got to feel the exhilaration that comes from setting a goal and checking it off the list! Woohoo!

Those unsexy basics create the solid foundation from which our dreams are built upon.

What are the unfinished unsexy basics taunting you?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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Can you think of a business with a staff that would benefit by getting to know more about each other so they can communicate better, get the right work done, and enjoy themselves more? I work within organizations as a trainer, facilitator, and executive coach. Learn more here: Professional Development

Can you think of a person who could use some extra support during an extraordinary time of change, who wants to feel more comfortable in their own skin, or who wants to take on an enormous goal? I coach via phone or online so the person can live anywhere in the world. Learn more here: Executive & Personal Coaching

If anyone pops into your mind, please connect us in whatever way works for you:

• Share my contact info with them: email: Jalene@JaleneCase.com and website: www.JaleneCase.com

• Send an email to both us introducing us to each other.

• Send me the person’s contact info.

Hand on heart...thank you.

Join Me Here

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.

LinkedIn • Facebook • Twitter • JaleneCase.com • (541) 272-2337

Giant Step, Baby Steps (repeat)

Ten years ago, Keith and I married in a special cove that can only be reached at low tide, below the Yaquina Head lighthouse in Newport, Oregon. Last weekend, I facilitated the final day of a private women’s retreat above that spot. It felt like a time warp.

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Yaquina Head Lighthouse. Photo by Chad Case, Chad Case Photography & Video, April 2008

While there, it occurred to me that ten years ago I also started a Masters degree program with the dream of doing the work I’m doing today. Wow. I never would have imagined that it would take a decade to realize that dream. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to begin.

Looking back, I realized that I have taken a giant step, then tons of baby steps that take me to the next giant step, then tons of baby steps…and so on. Professionally, this is the birds-eye view of what it looked like.

Giant Step: Left a 22-year career. (2008)

Baby Steps: Started Master’s degree program to change professions. Started a job in a completely new field. Completed a 3-year degree program.

Giant Step: Gave ourselves 2-years to ride our motorcycles to the southern tip of South America. (2015)

Baby Steps: Traveled by motorcycle in Latin America with challenges, magic, learning, and so much more.

Giant Step: Went all-in on my dream business. (2017)

Baby Steps: I’m working on these now!

Of course, there are zillions more baby steps that I’m not listing here but I'm pretty sure you get the picture.

We can’t know how long it will take for our dreams to fully come alive. The best we can do is to have the guts to take those giant steps, and the tenaciousness and heart to keep taking those everyday, seemingly meaningless baby steps until one day (like the day last weekend at the women’s retreat!) we realize that our dream is alive.

What’s your dream?

What did (or will!) your Giant Step look like?  

What are the Baby Steps propelling your forward?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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Are you ready to accomplish your dream? I'd love to hear all about it and help you move from, "I wish I could (fill in the blank)" to "Wow! Yes! I did it!" Schedule a complimentary Curious About Coaching session to learn more.

Can you think of a business team that could get along better and accomplish more? I help teams improve their communication and get the right work done. Contact me to learn more.

Join Me Here

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.

Another Person's "Why"

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Keith and I riding near Futaleufú, Chile

If two people have the same goal they want to accomplish, does it matter if they have different reasons for why they want to do it? I’m talking about the kind of “why” that animates your motivation.

My husband and I grappled with this lately. We both wanted to improve an aspect of our relationship but our reasons why were different. 

Admittedly, when I first heard the reason why it was important to him, I didn’t like it one bit, and I took it personally. Thankfully, I gave myself time to roll it around in my head. Hours later, I had this realization. 

As long as we want the same outcome, the “why” that leads us there doesn't matter to me. Stick with me on this.

It was helpful for me to understand his “why” but it didn’t have to match mine. In other words, I want to hear about the other person’s “why,” what’s motivating them to achieve our mutually agreed upon goal. However, I appreciate that the reason “why” that drives each of us doesn’t have to match up in order for us to achieve our end goal.

How could this perspective of “why” be useful in your relationship scenarios?

Next time you’re working with another person to reach the same goal, ask them their “why” and share yours. Get curious about how knowing each other’s “why” helps (or hinders!) you, so you can achieve what matters most to both of you.

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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I help individuals make the jump from wishing to doing, and professional teams transform from awkward tension to potent interaction.

Here are 3 offerings for you. Give yourself the precious gift of time to learn more about who you are now and what's most important to you.

What's Next Workshop located in Newport,OR at our vibrant 60+ Activity Center on May 19th.

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.