Design Celebration Practices for You and Your Team

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to skip celebrating you or team’s accomplishments? Too often we quickly check-off the “done” box and race on to the next thing. However, if you do that, you’re missing out on a chance to fuel future accomplishments and feel good.

A coaching client recently shared a scenario with me in which she did a great job handling a difficult situation with a long-term employee. She finished the story and then immediately started talking about the next topic. I said, “Wait, let’s celebrate what you accomplished and what you learned!” I asked her to share reflections on these three questions: “What went well? What didn’t go so well? What will you do differently next time?” This process is valuable for three reasons. 

1. Recognizing and celebrating what you do well gives your brain a dopamine reward. Your brain pays attention to your “feel-good” moments and calculates what’s needed to repeat that action in the future.

2. Identifying and naming what went well and what didn’t go so well helps you appreciate your progress. Looking back on the experience from an observer standpoint, rather than an active participant, gives you an opportunity to learn more deeply from your experience.

3. Unpacking and clarifying what you want to do differently (if anything) in the future nurtures your continued growth.

Understanding the logical reasons why celebrating is important is all well and good but we’re emotional creatures. Imagining what your celebrations might look like and sensing how they might feel will start painting a new image in your mind’s eye.

What does celebration look like? 

Here are some ideas for you to consider:

• Give yourself a dopamine burst first thing in the morning by completing a morning ritual. This could be as simple as making your bed or as complex as several practices that you do before going to work. Celebrate sticking to it.

• During the day when you finish something that was challenging for any reason, give yourself a little, “Yay me!” moment. I think of this as a “trickle charge.”

• Celebrate on a regular basis with an accountability buddy or coach. Look back over a week or month and share everything you’re proud of accomplishing.

• Write three things that you’re grateful for each day. Taking a moment to notice the positive things happening in your life (no matter how small!) feels good and when you feel good, that energy radiates out to others.

• If you’re celebrating at work, ask each team member how they’d like to celebrate. You’ll likely have some people who want private recognition and others who love public praise. Let them design what works best for their team.

What are the feelings associated with celebrating?

I invite you to play with a mixture of three emotions, out of the 87 written about by Brene Brown in her newest book, Atlas of the Heart.

Ask yourself: How do these emotions show up in my beliefs and actions related to celebration?

Pride is a feeling of pleasure or celebration related to our accomplishment or efforts. 

Think of this feeling of pride as being associated with a sense of accomplishment, mastery, triumph, confidence, and self-worth. It’s not a shallow sense of pride. Brown distinguishes this kind of pride as an authentic pride. 

When you’re choosing what you want to celebrate, notice what you feel proud of accomplishing. For example, I feel proud when I finish my morning ritual.

Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.  

When you have a gratitude practice and are capturing what you’re grateful for on a regular basis, celebration feels like a natural outcome. You can even do it as you’re reflecting on what you’re grateful for.

Humility is openness to new learning combined with a balanced and accurate assessment of our contributions, including our strengths, imperfections and opportunities for growth.

Think about the skills you’re focused on growing or the kind of leader you’re becoming. Consider how you’re progressing. For example, have you stepped outside your comfort zone and taken on a challenging project or task? Even if you did it imperfectly, what do you want to celebrate?

As you delve into the nuances of celebration, it feels like a switch you flip on the inside. You get to decide what’s meaningful for you to celebrate. Then, you get to choose a pleasurable style of celebrating. Right now…what do you want to celebrate? I’d love to hear your answer to that! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part eight in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self-leadership. You can read the previous post here.

You Don’t Have to Write All Your Goals

In my 20s, a dental hygienist said to me, “You don’t have to floss all your teeth.” I said, “Great!” Then she landed the one-two punch with, “You only have to floss the ones you want to keep.” Her trick worked. I’ve been a devout flosser ever since. The same is true for goals: You don’t have to write all your goals, only the ones you want to achieve.

Like flossing your teeth, you know setting goals is important to do on a regular basis; however, do you understand why writing them is crucial? Let’s learn from the experts. 

The results of Harvard Business Study found that:

• 83% of respondents had no goals

• 14% of respondents had plans but didn’t write them down and still, they were 10 times more likely to succeed

• 3% of respondents had written down their goals and were 30 times more likely to succeed compared with those who had no goals

Are you convinced that goals are valuable for you? I am. And still, finding what works for me has been, and continues to be, an evolution. I know that goals lead me to a satisfying life I love. Conversely, I know that chasing shiny objects leads me to frustration. What do you know about the role goals play in your life? 

I’ve struggled with goal writing because I make it too complicated by following someone else’s complex system, too overwhelming with more goals than a mere mortal can accomplish, and too time-consuming to stay on-track. 

Now I believe you must design your own goal system. Using someone else’s process is an awesome way to start, but you can’t stop there. You need to make it work with your lifestyle, work, values, thinking style, physical environment, technology preferences, creative and professional style, etc. The key is to give your goal system that special zing that motivates you! 

A study by the Dominican University of California revealed a basic goal system structure. Participants were divided into five groups. They found the group with the highest success rate of 76% did this: 

• wrote their goals

• wrote their action commitments

• shared with a friend

• sent updates to a friend

When you’re ready to get serious about building your goal system, use this guide to begin.

Write what you want.

This first step is about envisioning the big picture of what you want more of or less of in your life. You can use time frames to imagine what you want in 30 days, 90 days, 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. You can find more details in this blog post.

Write your goals.

Decide what you will do in order to get what you want from step one. Each goal needs to be S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound). These questions keep me on track. 

• Can this be checked off? If not, I need to be more specific.

• Can I really do this within the time-frame I set? I have a tendency to be unrealistic in my completion dates. Separate your goals into the same time periods as your “wants” above e.g., 30 days, 90 days, 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years

• Is this really important to me? Sometimes I think it is and then after continually not doing it, I admit to myself that it’s not important or figure out why I’m not doing it, which is usually related to being scared or not having enough knowledge. Without writing the goal, I wouldn’t know this.

You might want to add to this process by creating a vision board (cut out images that represent your goals and glue them onto paper) or hand-writing your goals (like note-taking, this conveys to your brain that this is important). 

Build your container.

Don’t skip this part! This is what will make writing and accomplishing goals satisfying, and dare I say, enjoyable.

• Where will you keep your goals so that you can review them on a regular basis? Ideas: hang them near your work space, put them in a digital spot that you consistently see, tuck them in your planner, purse or cell phone holder.

• How often will you read your goals?

• How often will you update your goals?

• Who will you tell about your goals?

• What might make this fun, efficient, fascinating, or exciting for you?

You can build your own goal system to receive what you truly want. Start by envisioning what you want, then decide what you will do to get it, and finally, build a container to support your goal system so it can support you. 

Creating your own goal system may not change your life, but then again, it just might. I’d love to hear about the structure of your goal system! Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part three in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership. You can read the previous post here.

Uncontrolled Outbursts Can Lead to Growth

One of my clients recently erupted at a coworker when she discovered that confidential information was shared. Normally, she would have calmed down and scheduled a serious discussion with the employee. Before she could do that, they ended up together in a work space with no one else around. The conversation quickly spiraled out of control.

What if I told you that uncontrolled, emotional outbursts at a co-worker could open the door to growing as a leader?

I had an opportunity to help my client unpack her uncharacteristic response and explore what was behind it. In our first discussion, her emotions were still running hot: she had a splitting headache, felt ashamed, and tears kept coming intermittently. We pressed pause on the coaching session and resumed a few days later. At that point, she was calm, curious, and focused. By the end of the session, she had become clear about the outcome she wanted.

The first instinct might be to tackle the external consequences caused by an uncontrolled outburst, but that doesn’t get at the root of it—that just smooths over what is happening on the surface. Going beneath the surface is what will make lasting personal growth possible.

Exploring Outburst, Control, and Values

In between our first and second coaching sessions, my client did a writing exercise that I suggested. She used a technique called wild writing, written about by Natalie Goldberg. She brought the situation to mind and then used two writing prompts, I know and I don’t know. She used the first prompt to write for exactly 10 minutes, shook out her hand, and then used the second prompt for another 10 minutes. She followed these rules: keep writing no matter what (if you get stuck, simply write I don’t know what to write until something comes), go for the jugular knowing you can destroy it later, and no going back to make any corrections during the 10 minutes.

That writing exercise revealed whales. Literally. She realized that normally at this time of year she and her partner would go to San Ignacio Lagoon, Baja California, Mexico to witness the birth of gray whales. She recognized how deeply sad and disappointed she felt that they weren’t going this year.

Naming emotions is often the first step to understanding more fully what’s beneath those shame-inducing outbursts. It’s part of self-awareness, which is the foundation of emotional intelligence. When you’re aware of your feelings, you can do a better job of regulating your behaviors. Imagine an iceberg. The behaviors are the top part that can be seen. The emotions are the much larger, unseen bottom portion of the iceberg, lurking beneath the surface and driving the behaviors.

After identifying her feelings, we moved on to exploring the results she wanted. We used the Change Theory model to discern her current perception of the situation, the outcome she wanted, and the behaviors that would help cross the gap between her perception and the desired outcome. A surprise popped up.

This one gnarly outburst uncovered a larger intention. While this particular situation needed to be addressed with the employee, she discovered that it was part of a larger issue. What she really wanted was for the organization to be a better team. She began to imagine the behaviors that would lead to that inspirational and impactful outcome.

This led us to her circle of control: the circumstances that she has direct control over. How did she want to show up in the next meeting with the team, including a meeting with the employee? She identified words and phrases that described who she wanted to be during the upcoming discussion. She listed open-minded, respectful, and good listener. Interestingly enough, those words are also connected to her core values—and values point to how you want to show up.

In fact, fun is also one of her core values. That one took a hit when she didn’t get to see the whales in Baja. She realized that even though she didn’t feel comfortable traveling during the pandemic, it was important for her to find other ways to bring more fun into her life.

This led to identifying the values that were expressed or not expressed during the uncontrolled emotional response. She realized that her values of honesty, integrity and respect were not represented during the outburst.

Values have a direct tie to your feelings and subsequent reactions. When your values get stepped on in a situation, it can cause an extreme emotional response. For example, if you value honesty and you feel someone is being dishonest, your emotional response can be a seemingly unreasonable amount of anger, frustration, or aggravation.

When you struggle with a response that you’re not proud of, I encourage you to dive beneath the surface and use what you learn to become the kind of leader you want to be. In the end, you will be clearer about what you need to do to achieve your desired outcome. If you have questions about any of the techniques I described, please reach out to me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Why Less is More When It Comes to Goals

Envisioning a magical scenario in which you’re doing everything you want to is exhilarating, in the beginning. However, adding a dose of realism can give you the best chance of accomplishing what matters most to you.

I see this in myself, my clients, and my friends. We want to do it all right now! We have the best of intentions and list of exciting to dos. Fanning the “do it all” flame is an internal voice that says something like, “When I do it all, I’ll be happy.” Ouch.

In the first month of working with a business coach, I sent a long email with all my precious plans. Secretly I thought he’d be impressed. Instead, his reply was precisely, “Rank the three most important items.” Another ouch! I truly believed that they were all important and thought there was no way I could choose only three.

Now, I’m in that messy space of growing my prioritizing skills and while it’s not a pleasant experience, the end results are bringing me a sense of grounded, purpose and calm. And yes, I managed to choose only three most important items.

 “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Neil Peart

Before I dive into making tough choices, which I don’t enjoy doing, I like to take a deep breath and remind myself of why I want to what matters most. Think big picture. Why is it important for you to do the things on your list?

Keep your why in mind as you continue reading.

Ruthlessly Choosing

Start with a brain dump. Write everything that you want to do. Let yourself go wild! If it’s helpful, you can make lists by areas. Ex. work, home, physical, learning, fun, etc.

Next, choose the three things that you will do during each of the following time periods: 30 days, 90 days, and 12 months.

If you want to challenge yourself, list ten things you want to do in the next 10 years.

Warning: Beware of your internal voice. The process of choosing can activate your inner gremlins. Watch out for internal dialogue like this: You don’t need to choose! You’re smart, you really can do it all! No, I don’t want to choose! If I don’t do it all I’m a loser! Look at (insert name of a person you admire) he/she can do it all! Simply notice that mean inner voice but do not engage with it. (Note: The reason I used all exclamation points is because your saboteur voice is loud and insistent while your authentic voice is quiet and calm.)

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown

Consistently Focusing

Now that you know what you want to focus on, how will you support yourself in sticking to it? For me, I know I can’t do it alone. I need what I call the “Weight Watchers” approach. On a regular basis, I need to “weigh-in” in front of another human being to keep me out of the denial zone and in the real zone.

You could hire a coach, partner-up with a friend, colleague, or family member, and/or join a group such as a mastermind that includes accountability. Another person might ask questions or share observations that spur your commitment or make you more aware of what does (and does not!) help you.

To prepare for meeting with your support tribe, you’ll need to track your progress. Developing a system that works for you is the key here. The basic elements for a goal system are writing what you will do, when you will do it, and why it’s important to you. While you’re working hard to keep it real, magic can happen.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” Tony Robbins

Joyfully Celebrating

Don’t skip this part! Neuroscience shows that celebrating teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. Find a way that feels good to you. Try putting your arms in the air and saying, “Yes!” or “Yay me!” Do a happy dance. Keep track of your little and big wins by writing them down. Oh, and have a wee bit of fun while you do it.

“The more you celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Oprah Winfrey

You can do this! Choose, focus, celebrate and pay attention to what happens next. I’d love to hear the tips and tricks you use and the ones you learn as you work through this process. Send them to me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Create a Goal System that Works for You With These 13 Ideas to Get Started

Simply setting a goal and expecting to reach it is a recipe for ongoing angst. A goal you truly desire to achieve needs a solid foundation, stepping stones, and tenacious support.

Conversations with my clients lately almost always include the mention of goal-setting. While that may sound logical, that’s not the energy I sense. I hear things like, “I should set some goals for next year. I really want to set some goals but I’m no good at it. I’ve tried doing the goal thing but it doesn’t work for me.” The energy I sense is frustration, self-judgement, and desperation.

I’m with you! I used to feel the same way. Setting goals was no fun. The process led to beating myself up for forgetting to look at the brilliant goals I had written and then when I finally read them again, realizing I had allowed shiny ideas to distract me from what I truly wanted to accomplish. Not anymore.

I’ve built a system to support myself; however, I’m not prescribing my process for you. Instead, I’ll share the components of it so you can create your own awesome way to do what matters most to you. I purposely didn’t go into detail on every element because my intent is to give you enough information to use as a springboard in creating your own system.

Before we begin, let’s set a larger context for goals. The purpose of designing a goal system is for you to create a life you love. Goals are simply the stepping stones along the way. As you continue reading, feel free to change the words to fit your style. Words matter; they can be a turn-off or a turn-on! Also, choose the parts that feel right for you and let the rest go.

Start with a Solid Foundation

This bedrock will be a continuous source of strength for you. I recommend keeping it front and center as a reminder of the larger purpose of your goals.

Annual Theme: Choose a word or phrase to represent your guiding theme for the year. Ex. Fierce Focus, Create a Life I Love, Generosity and Abundance

Values: Which 2-5 values define who you are at your best? Ex. Connection, Usefulness, Curiosity, Courage

Purpose: If you got to design a billboard on a super-busy road, what would you say? Ex. Do what matters most. Be kind.

Love Notes to Myself: What encouraging words do you want to hear? Ex. Keep It Simple Sweetie (K.I.S.S.). Yay you! You got this!

Lay Out the Stepping Stones

This is the working information about your goals. Choose a location and format that works best for you such as a spreadsheet, notebook, or app.

Key End Result: What’s the overall objective or desire? You’ll have 3-5 of these areas. Ex. Build an effective goal system.

Internal Belief: What do you want to believe about that key end result? Ex. I can achieve meaningful goals.

Measurable Action: What are you going to do to achieve that key end result, and when will you do it by? You’ll have several of these for each key end result. Ex. I will start building my goal system by answering each of the questions in the “solid foundation” section by December 31, 2020.

Simple Step: What is one thing you can do immediately to accomplish the measurable action? These will keep the momentum going on your measurable actions. Ex. Schedule 30 minutes to work on my goal system.

Give Yourself Tenacious Support

I’m not going to lie. Sticking with a goal system takes work. But don’t get overwhelmed! It’s totally worth it when you see your desires becoming reality. This last section will make the difference between losing interest in your snazzy new goal system and continually innovating it as you evolve. Tenacious support means giving yourself what you need to be successful.

Visualize: Using all of your senses, what does it look and feel like when your goal is accomplished? Ex. Create a Vision Board or write a detailed description.

Character Traits: Which character traits will support you in reaching your goals? Ex. I will be courageous, tenacious, and kind to others and myself.

People Support: Who will support you in reaching your goals? Ex. Hire a Coach. Start or join a Mastermind group. Find an accountability partner to check in with on a regular basis.

Self-Care: (The secret sauce!) How will you take care of yourself so you have the kind of energy that will support you best? Ex. Exercise on a regular basis. Set aside time to be alone with yourself. Journal. Make art. Get regular massages. Do what makes you feel energized!

Celebrate Often: How will you celebrate the tiny and gigantic successes? Ex. Fist pump in the air while saying, “Yay you!” Share with a friend or colleague. Do a happy dance. Give yourself a special treat.

Now is when the fun and creativity begin. Choose what stands out for you. Innovate. Build your goal system to support yourself in doing what’s most meaningful, important, and exhilarating for you. You got this! If you have questions, I would be happy to support you. Connect with me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

5 Tips to Habits that Fit Your Life Now

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Positive habits result in a sweet sense of satisfaction. Are your habits doing that for you? If not, it might be time to strengthen the routines you want to keep and toss the ones that no longer serve you.

This is personal for me. My habits have changed dramatically to fit a 35-year corporate career, two years of traveling by motorcycle in Latin America, and three years of running a business. Each of those areas required very different routines. I bet your helpful habits have changed over the years, too.

I continually get better at seeing how my habits work for me and against me. Recently I asked myself, “How do I fortify the habits that are helping me so I can more easily reach my desired outcomes?” That question lit my curiosity.

As my awareness of habits has increased, I’ve come to believe that whether we’re aware of them or not, they’re a powerful force in our lives. Now, I want to see and use them. I want my habits to bring me feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction, and joy!

If you’re curious about your habits, here are some places to begin honing them.

Start with stopping.

What habits are no longer serving you? They might be left over from another time in your life. Maybe you started doing them unconsciously and, although you know they’re not helping, you’re having trouble unhooking from them.

One of the habits that I’ve stopped is related to taking breaks. My habit was to never take a break at work. Almost all the time, I would eat lunch at my desk, while working on the computer, and not take morning or afternoon breaks.

Thanks to my coach, I stopped that habit. She helped me see that taking breaks actually increased my productivity. Now, I take morning and afternoon breaks, usually with a healthy snack, plus a lunch hour which typically involves eating while listening to a podcast and then listening to a guided meditation.

This habit took time to change. Initially I felt like a loafer! Slowly I noticed a shift. My belief changed from “no breaks means I’m a hard worker” to “breaks mean I’m a smart, productive worker taking care of myself so I don’t burnout.”

How are beliefs connected with habits?

I believed that not taking breaks proved I was working hard. I thought working more hours meant I would be more successful. Now I believe that when I take better care of myself, I do better work which leads to more meaningful success.

Which comes first, the habit change or the belief change? That’s like asking, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” It could go either way. In my example of breaks, first I changed the habit and then my new belief hatched.

Choose what you want first.

Snazzy new habits will lose steam fast if they’re not truly hooked-up with your desires. So, “What do you want?” That’s a simple question and yet so tough to answer sometimes. 

The reason I focused on taking breaks as a habit was because I wanted to build a business in which I could take care of myself rather than burning out like I’d done in the past.

I suggest starting simple. What’s one thing you want? Play with creating one habit related to it. Here’s a trick for making habits stick. Build a habit chain by connecting a new habit to a current one. For example, while drinking coffee in the morning (current habit) write in your journal (new habit) or, when you first sit down at your desk (current), take time to plan your day (new). A habit chain will make new habits easier to start and stick to.

What do you want to learn more about before creating a new habit?

I’ve found that sometimes I don’t know what habit will help me. In that case, learning a new perspective, approach, or process is what guides me toward a new habit.

For example, in the taking a break scenario, my coach introduced the new perspective that breaks lead to increased productivity. Right now, I’m trying out a time-blocking approach I learned from the book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. I’m also experimenting with a process for connecting with potential new clients. All of those areas will be stronger with good habits.

K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple Sweetie

When I’m at my best, I keep things simple rather than complex. Imagine one area of your life that you truly want to make better. Use the tips above to choose one habit that you’re pretty sure will move you closer to what you want. Try it for an appropriate time period. If it works, continue doing it. If it doesn’t work, try a different habit.

You get to be in charge of the habits that you stop and start doing. By noticing them, you can choose to let go of those getting in your way and fortify the ones that will move you toward what you desire. What’s one simple habit that you’ll commit to taking for a test run? I’d love to cheer you on! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Move from Blocking to Supporting Yourself

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“I’m my own worst enemy!” Have you ever said this or heard a friend or colleague say it? It can feel frustrating and demotivating to know precisely what we want to accomplish yet take actions that move us in the opposite direction. How can you get out of your own way and support yourself in getting more of what you want?

After working in organizations for more than three decades, I started my own business a few years ago. It surprised me that the gnarliest challenges came from inside me, not from the external skills I was learning. Internal voices that overly criticized and structures that didn’t work blocked me from reaching my goals, dreams, and life purpose. Yes. It’s a big deal! Growing skills to support ourselves is essential if we want to create purposeful, meaningful, lives we love.

While I needed to learn many external, hard skills, I found that those were relatively easy. It was the internal, soft skills that were the trickiest yet had the most far-reaching, positive impact. The exercises that I share below have the potential to change more than you might imagine. Experiment. Pay attention to what’s happening on the outside as a result of the work you’re doing inside.

Subtract What Blocks You

Saboteur Voice

This self-sabotaging voice is also called inner critic or negative self-talk. It’s trying to keep us safe by holding us back so a lion doesn’t eat us. As we venture beyond our comfort zone, it springs into action. It usually sounds mean and loud. Its sentences might start with words such as “you can’t, you should, you must, you’re not enough,” or “you don’t deserve.”

How can you get rid of the Saboteur? Unfortunately, you can’t remove it 100%. However, you can block it from taking control. The most powerful tool you have is to simply notice it and name it. That’s it.

To begin noticing what your inner critic says, bring to mind something new and difficult that you did recently. Then, take a minute and jot down what the Saboteur was saying to you internally during that experience. For example, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do that!” Remember, simply notice.

Identifying your Saboteur’s language means you’ll recognize it sooner so you can boot it out of the driver’s seat and into the back seat where it belongs.

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are hidden in our subconscious minds and constrain us in some way. Because we unconsciously believe them, we don’t do or say things that they inhibit. For example, “I don’t deserve to earn a six-figure income.” That type of limiting belief constrains your actions.

Working with a professional coach is an excellent way to unearth these limiting beliefs. For now, here’s a hack for you. Rather than identifying your limiting beliefs, do the reverse. Write as many answers as you can using this prompt: “I want to believe …”

Keep your list of what you want to believe in a place you see it often to consciously choose your beliefs.

Digging down into these areas is usually not pleasant. I know from experience. I also know that the reward is worth it.

Add What Supports You

Sage Voice

Your Sage Voice is here to give you some love! This voice sounds kind and quiet, which means it takes intention to hear it. It says things like, “You got this! You’re learning so give yourself a break. It’s going to be okay.”

The best way to connect with your Sage is to stop for a moment. Even pausing for ten seconds makes a difference. My favorite ways are to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, stand outside for a few minutes doing nothing but sensing my surroundings, listen to a guided meditation, or take a walk.

Create a Container

Designing a container for yourself can bring freedom and fun. Really! My definition of a container is a system or framework that supports you. This will look different for all of us. Start by designing what you think will work for you now and then continue refining it as you learn and grow. The first step is the toughest!

For example, in order for me to feel free to work and have fun along the way, I need processes and people.

For my processes, I have structures in place for goals, daily tasks, writing blogs, recording videos, morning rituals, and monthly e-letters. Those systems bring me calm focus and a sense of accomplishment.

Here’s what I mean by needing people to support me. I thrive with a coach, an accountability partner, groups with a shared vision such as The Complete Leader program, and regularly doing yoga classes and running with a friend.

Your container will vary based on your needs. Imagine this as an infrastructure that supports you in doing what’s most important to you. What will help you be at your best?

By noticing your self-talk, choosing what you want to believe, and creating your container, you will be your biggest ally. I’d love to hear what your support system looks like! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Paddle Toward Your Vision

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Our responsibilities can toss us around like we’re rafting through white-water rapids without a paddle. Our direction feels like it’s utterly controlled by the river. This is how it can feel when we don’t have a clear vision and goals guiding us to where we want to go.

I knew where I was heading and how I was going to get there before the pandemic hit. And then, for a while there, it felt like I was on a wild river without a paddle! To stick with this metaphor…now I see my path forward and have paddles in-hand to take me where I want to go. Here’s what my route looked like.

1. First, I felt mad and frustrated.

2. Then, I took advantage of several virtual learning opportunities.

3. Slowly, a new vision of my future began to emerge.

4. Recently, I wrote my new vision and goals and feel more focused and productive than ever.

In the past, I would have lingered longer in a state of busyness that gave me a false sense of purpose based on getting something done. This time, I went inside first to clarify what I wanted and how to get it. I didn’t get lost in wishing things were different. I took action – even though it was mostly uncomfortable – to make changes from the inside out.

Imagine you have a blank canvas in front of you and that your vision and goals are going to paint your future. Like every artist’s work is original, your approach will be your own. Use the ideas below to stimulate your inner creative, visionary.

Clarify Your Vision

Choose the exercise(s) that will help you paint your vision of the future.

• Write or Mind Map what you want your future to look like. Include every sensory detail possible and the aspect of your life that you want to focus on now.

• Use the Wild Writing technique by Natalie Goldberg. This method helps bypass the inner critic and get to what I call our inner operating system. Hold the topic of your vision in mind. Write for 10-minutes using the prompt “I know…” and then (shake your hand out!), and use the prompt “I don’t know…” to write for another 10-minutes. Follow these rules:

  • Don’t lift your pen from the paper.

  • Keep writing no matter what. If you don’t know what to write then write “I don’t know what to write” until something else comes.

  • Go for the jugular. You can burn or shred it later!

  • Don’t go back and correct anything. You can do that when you’re finished.

• Consider these questions through writing, speaking the answers into your phone, pondering them while walking, or sharing them with someone you trust.

  • What do I want more of in my life? What do I want less of in my life?

  • If I could wave a magic wand, I would…

  • If I were to step into a way of being that represents me more fully, I would…

• Make a Vision Board by gluing images to paper that represent the future you want. Tips: Choose metaphorical images such as facial expressions that represent how you want to feel or images that represent something tangible you want like a new BBQ grill, dog, or house. Use any paper you want. I’ve used everything from letter-size to poster-size. Give yourself uninterrupted time to create this visual image of your future.

Craft Your Goals

Disclaimer: I have a love/hate relationship with goals. I hate declaring what I will do because it means I have to abandon (for now!) some of my bright shiny ideas. I love that goals tether me, in the best way possible, to the future I want.

Goals work when they’re held within a system that works for you. Design your process. Work with it. Innovate it over and over again so it’s a valuable tool for you.

Tips for building a goal system:

• Connect them to your values and vision.

• Language matters so use words that inspire you (for example, instead of goal use action or target).

• Key Results (which I call Desires) set a general direction (such as connect with clients, earn a healthy income, etc.).

• Monthly and Quarterly Goals maintain focus on specific actions to achieve Key Results. These are the S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound).

• Post Key Results and Goals in a prominent spot to minimize Squirrel! moments.

• Share the results out loud monthly, with a person you trust, to stay true to yourself.

• Take 15-minutes in the morning to write what you will do that day.

• Consider what will support you in terms of habits, people, structures, etc.

• Celebrate often! Based on neuroscience, celebration teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. I like to raise my arm in the air and say, “Yay me!”

Discerning your vision and goals will make riding the river of life much more fulfilling and meaningful. I’m a geek when it comes to learning about goal systems so I’d love to hear what yours looks like. Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Drop Your Armor to Get What You Want

What would it look like to drop the armor you’ve been using to defend yourself? What are you protecting yourself from? I believe we want to shield our soul’s desires because we don’t want to risk injuring them. The crazy thing is that when we keep them locked up in a tower with the draw bridge lifted, we block out fulfillment, accomplishment, and joy.

A coaching client shared that she wanted to drop her armor and put down her weapons. The declaration surprised me because we were talking about what she wanted to do, not what someone else was asking her to do. As we dug deeper, she realized that she was blocking herself with unhelpful, unkind thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. Knowing what she wanted was not the problem. Allowing herself to make progress toward her practical goals and soul’s desires was the challenge she faced.

A typical strategy is to identify the besieging thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. Instead, my client and I opted for the opposite approach. She laid down her armor and gave herself permission to imagine what she wanted rather than what she didn’t want.

For a few minutes, allow your illusory armor to drop, set down your shield and weapons, and give yourself permission to open to what you want.

What do you want to think?

Thoughts become things. It’s that simple and that complex, which is why there have been many books written and movies made on the topic. The average person has around 48.6 thoughts per minute, which adds up to 70,000 thoughts per day, according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California.

Let’s narrow this down. Bring to mind one thing that you really, truly want to do, have, or achieve. What do you want to think about your approach to doing it? What do you want to think about your chances of being successful at doing it? Give yourself permission to think those thoughts, even though it might feel scary right now to do it.

The thoughts may sound like: I got the promotion. I have a successful business. My body is strong and healthy. Every day I meditate for at least one minute. I’m a great listener.

What do you want to believe?

On the opposite side of what you want to believe is your limiting beliefs. I want to acknowledge that there’s value in unearthing your limiting beliefs so you can see and choose to change them. However, for now, you’re going to give your full attention to what you want to believe without diving into your unconscious limiting beliefs.

Put yourself in a location and state of mind that will allow you to freely imagine what you want to believe. Write as many as you can – 20, 40, 60 or more! For example: I want to believe that I make healthy eating choices. I want to believe that the best outcome will happen. I want to believe that I am creating a life I love. I want to believe that I earn enough money for myself and enough to share with others.

When you’re done for now, put the list in a place you can see and read it often. Act as if you believe them. Begin to validate them by noticing what happens when your actions reflect your beliefs.

What do you want to feel?

The first step in developing emotional intelligence is to practice self-awareness. In other words, to notice what you’re feeling. The next step is to regulate yourself, to choose your actions rather than unconsciously blurting out whatever you think or feel. In this same vein, consider how you want to feel.

Bring to mind a situation that causes you angst. Let’s say, Monday mornings. Perhaps, on Sunday evening you begin thinking about Monday morning and feel anxious, depressed, or worried. What would you like to feel instead? What if you felt inspired, upbeat, or proud? In your mind, practice saying what you want to feel.

What do you want to do?

Doing what you truly want to do starts on the inside with your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. But magic can’t happen until you take action.

When I was an executive director, an endowment consultant once told me that while developing a strategic plan is crucial, she knew that magic would happen once we got out there and took action. She was right. We achieved a multi-million-dollar goal with happy surprises that happened while we were working our plan. (Thank you, Jill Burnette.)

Choose one thing that you want to accomplish. What action will you commit to taking that will move you toward what you want? Baby steps and tiny habits are astonishingly effective! Know that magic can happen when you start taking action.

You might rearrange your routine to accommodate 30 minutes, three days a week, for writing, art-making, or walking. After brushing your teeth at night, you might meditate for one minute.

Our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions can form impenetrable defenses that block us from everything – the sorrow and the joy. Or, we can drop the armor, lower the draw bridge and let the good in. I’d love to hear which of these areas made a difference for you. Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Trying Easy Rather Than Hard

Having fun is allowed!

From playing a sport to working a job, the phrase “trying hard” implies that we’re attempting to perform at our very best, pushing ourselves harder to go beyond our limits. Why? I believe it’s because we want to be successful on our own terms.

We receive accolades for trying hard: “She’s a hard worker.” “He’s trying hard to be the best leader he can be.” Yay for us! Most of the time. The problem comes when trying imperceptibly slips from positive to negative.

On the positive side, trying drives us to go all-in toward what we truly want to accomplish. It feels light, invigorating, and clear, like we know what we want and how to get it. And dare I say…it’s fun!

On the negative side, trying forces us to do what we think we should do (a hallmark red flag!) which causes over-complication and stress. It feels heavy, tense, and anxiety ridden with a tinge of panic, ready to explode at any moment.

What if the opposite could be equally effective and way more enjoyable? How might we try easy?

That’s what suddenly occurred to me in the thick of 2020 planning. I pressed pause on trying hard and began exploring what was already flowing easily toward me.

Here are some ways to experiment with trying easy. Take a deep breath with a long exhale, let your shoulders fall away from your ears, and give these a whirl.

Examine Energizing and Depleting

This simple step is essential. Consider every aspect of your life while pondering these questions: Which people and what activities energize and excite you? Which people and what activities deplete and drain you?

If you’re not sure, begin by paying attention to how you feel. For example, are some work projects easy to do because you love doing them? Do some tasks take a ridiculously long time because you dread doing them? Who are the people or groups you’re around that leave you feeling great, positive, energized? Who are the people or groups that leave you feeling exhausted, drained, even a bit depressed?

For this exercise, write what and who are energizing you and what or who are draining you. Follow the good juju to try easy.

Create a Sacred and Fun Space to Explore

Creating an intentional space to seriously play will loosen up that trying hard tension so it can relax into trying easy.

When I’m doing this activity, I love to take over an entire room! I stock up on flip chart paper, colorful sticky notes, and have lots of colored markers handy. Playing music that makes me want to move is a new tool for me. Its power to shift my perspective from stuck-in-the-same to anything-is-possible has surprised me. Leaving everything in place for a while means I can continue working in spurts over time and see the gestalt of the whole project.

Identify Your Support Peeps

Who are the people, groups, and/or businesses supporting you now? Those are your peeps! Make a list of people who support you personally, professionally, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and/or spiritually.

How might connecting with your peeps more intentionally help you go with the flow of trying easy?

Take A Break

This can be so hard sometimes! Stepping away for a break can unplug you from the trying hard circuit so you can make a conscious choice to reconnect with the strong current of flow. When you’re there, the buzz of electricity is palpable. Your brilliance can shine!

Capture Your Ideas

Find a method that works for you to capture what comes to you while you’re in the trying easy mode. It could be a spreadsheet, a form you create or find, colored markers on a flip chart, or an app. Documenting your ideas allows your brain to let go of them for now which builds self-trust and brings a sense of calm. You can rest knowing that your precious ideas are tucked away for safe keeping.

Experiment with trying easy and notice how it’s different from trying hard. What are the results? How does it feel? How might you tap into that easeful flow again? I’d love to hear what works for you! Drop me a line at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.