What’s in Your Self-Resource Toolbox?

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“We have exceeded our surge capacity,” is a phrase I heard recently from Jennifer Louden. I thought, “Yes! That’s what it feels like! My inner surge protector is fried.” At the same time, I realized that I’ve been learning, along with my clients, friends, and family, how to survive the recent deluge of disasters. I bet you have, too.

Changes, especially uncontrollable changes, can leave you craving a way to get beyond the tornado of emotions so you can stand on firm ground again. How can you help yourself move forward? Self-resourcing. By gathering support resources, you can be there for yourself, and as a result, be there for the people you care about most.

Before diving into resource ideas, let’s start with a definition. I define self-resource as being a collection of support sources that can be used to help you be who you want to be, and do what you want to do, especially during challenging times.

Here are some ideas to get started. Try them or use them as springboards to create your own unique collection of self-resourcing tools.

Physically

• Pay attention to what your body is telling you. The physical pain you feel can be an emotional trauma that has manifested in your body. For example, lower back pain might really be related to a traumatic event in your life. (Like a pandemic!) Identifying the origination of the pain can change how you help your body heal.

•  Give yourself permission to move your body in a way that’s pleasurable. Dance with no one watching, stretch those stiff muscles, take a walk. Don’t get trapped by thinking that you’re not doing it right or for long enough. Get curious about what your body is calling for now.

Intellectually

• Write down the unconscious thoughts running around in your head to bring them into your conscious mind. Then, give yourself permission to set some of them aside. By mindfully compartmentalizing your fearful thoughts, you will be able to direct your full attention more effectively toward what’s most important at the time.

• Learn something new or improve in an area that will help you in multiple areas. For example, a coaching client decided that developing her emotional intelligence skills will support her in growing into a big promotion that she received. Depending on your bandwidth to learn right now, this can be on a large scale or tiny. No judgement here. Tiny growth is powerful!

Emotionally

Why bother noticing how you’re feeling? By naming what you’re feeling, the emotion can move through you. When you deny your feelings, they get stuck inside and escape in unexpected ways such as outbursts at people you care for. I appreciate this description from The New York Times, “… naming our emotions tends to diffuse their charge and lessen the burden they create. The psychologist Dan Siegel refers to this practice as ‘name it to tame it’.” (The Importance of Naming Your Emotions, by Tony Schwartz)

Having trouble identifying what you’re feeling? Here’s a way to practice. Set an alarm on your phone to go off three times a day. Each time, answer this question in your mind, “How am I feeling?” There’s no right or wrong answer. In my experience, I notice not only my awareness increasing but my emotional vocabulary growing. Instead of simply saying good or bad, I say focused or distracted. This exercise will improve your self-awareness which is the first step in growing emotional intelligence.

Spiritually

By spiritual, I mean that place inside that feels sacred to you. How can you give yourself more time in that space, even if it’s 10 seconds here and there? The quickest way for me to get that peaceful place is to close my eyes and take one deep breath in, during which I pay attention to my body’s sensations. I usually feel tingles in my chest and a sense of settling. That’s it. That’s enough.

If you have a spiritual practice that you’ve set aside, how might you pick up even a piece of it to resource yourself?

Bonus: Powerful Questions

I love the possibilities that good questions create. Here are some of my favorites that I’ve worked with lately. Which one(s) will increase your resourcefulness?

As you answer these questions, consider, “Will this choice enlarge or diminish me?” (Inspired by the work of James Hollis.)

• What am I willing to accept?

• What do I have to look forward to?

• What choices do I need to make?

Draw a line vertically down the center of a piece of paper. On one side write, “What feels fixed or unchangeable?” On the other side write, “What can I do to help or make myself better?” (Inspired by Jennifer Louden in The Writer’s Oasis.)

Take a moment to list five things you will do to resource yourself. Remember, resourcing yourself directly translates to serving the people who matter most to you. I’d love to hear what’s in your self-resource tool box! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

How to Create an Environment that Supports You

By Jalene Case 

The environment we build for ourselves—both externally and internally—influences how we show up and engage in our lives. Look around you. As you take in your surroundings, how do you feel? That feeling will follow you into whatever you’re doing next.

From 2015 to 2017, my husband and I traveled on our motorcycles, mostly in Latin America. My ability to control the surroundings changed dramatically and yet, the external world still influenced how I felt inside. For example, when we stayed in a place that felt good to me, I was inspired to write a blog post or make a video call to friends at home. When I found a private place to write in my journal, I could process the myriad of travel experiences.

Now I have more control over my surroundings. I decide how I want those spaces to look externally so they rev up my internal desires, goals, and visions. 

So how do your create your own supportive environment? Here’s an outline and some questions to consider: 

External Environment

Workspace

What does your dream workspace look like? Is it starkly minimalistic or wildly chaotic? Whichever way you choose, use an organization system that fits your style to increase productivity and decrease frustration. Give yourself permission to design the best space for you.

Storage Spaces (computers, bags, vehicles, etc.)

We can easily fall into the trap of storing too much “just in case” we need it and end up lugging around or being surrounded by a lot of unneeded clutter. What would serve you best to have nearby? How can you access it quicker? What can you let go? 

People

The people we surround ourselves with establish our “norm.” In other words, if most the people you hang out with don’t exercise, you probably won’t exercise either. If most the people surrounding you are always learning, you most likely will also. 

Malcolm Gladwell says, “The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.” 

Places

Where do you spend time outside your work and home? Are those places supporting you? For example, trying to eat healthy and yet going to fast food places is incongruent. Trying to meet people from the business community and joining your local Chamber of Commerce is supportive.

Internal Environment

Emotional

Our emotions drive us even though we’re usually not aware of it. Whether we rank high on the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) scale or we’re a bit out of touch with our emotions, we can all benefit by improving in this area. 

The foundation of EQ is self-awareness. To grow that skill, try this:

• Ask yourself three times a day, “How am I feeling?” Set an alarm on your phone and when it goes off, internally ask yourself the question and answer with a word that best describes your feeling. This will grow your self-awareness and your vocabulary for describing emotions.

Physical

How does your body feel? Take a scan of your body and consider what you might do to help it feel better.

I had a big ah-ha when my husband and I were out traveling on our motorcycles. I knew it was important to sit-up straight when I was riding but I wasn’t doing it. As a result, I had to contend with an injury for several months. The ah-ha was that in order to sit-up straight, I had to strengthen my stomach muscles. That meant I had to exercise. The same is true for standing up straight and feeling energetic on a regular basis. In order to do those things, we need to move our bodies. 

Mindfulness: Combining Our External and Internal Environments

Mindfulness is defined as, “a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” For me, this powerful combination of internal and external environments brings feelings of peace, calm, and focus. 

Try it yourself: for 10 seconds, notice the feeling of your feet connecting with the ground or your bottom connecting with the seat. Simply noticing connects our mind to our body. What do you notice? How do you feel? How can you support yourself in this moment?

We have the power to create an internal and external environment that supports us in being who we want to be and doing what matters most to us. Take a look around you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What is one thing I could change to make my environment more supportive?”

Rejuvenating July

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I’m deeply appreciating the value of taking superb care of myself. I know that when I give myself what I need to feel energized, I’m more happy and satisfied in my life. The result is that I feel connected with my heart’s voice, my mind’s focus, and my body’s energy.

With that in mind, I’m starting a new ritual of taking time to rejuvenate twice a year, in July and December. During that time I will not be writing my blog or posting on social media. Instead, I will be taking a deep dive into projects that are calling to me.

This July I will be:

• Creating a bold, expansive, deep experience for clients who want to reimagine who they want to be. The idea originated during my travels in Patagonia and I can’t wait to share it with you!

• Reinventing this blog.

• Honing my business purpose and goals.

• Enjoying summer in the Northwestern US!

What will you do to rejuvenate your heart, mind, and body?

See you in August!

Jalene

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Enjoy summer and I'll see you again in August! I'm still working and would love to hear from you :)

I believe that creating lives we love (at home and at work!) starts with our hearts.

That belief is woven throughout my work as an Executive & Personal Coach and in facilitating Professional and Personal Development. Reach out to me to talk about how my offerings might serve you and/or your organization.

Let's connect! LinkedIn • Facebook • Twitter • JaleneCase.com • (541) 272-2337

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What's Next?

Failing & Hiding

Hi!

I've been writing a blog post every week since the first of the year and this week, I failed. Yup. I didn't do it. Rather than beat myself up, I forgive myself with love and compassion. I've been stretching into some new areas lately and I imperfectly juggled the balls I have in the air (like blogging!).

The stuff I've been doing for the first time include singing lessons (to strengthen my speaking voice), prepping to speak at a Women's Symposium, and facilitating a team using some psychometric tools designed to help them learn about their behaviors and motivators. I'll have lots of insights to share soon!

In the meantime, I thought you'd enjoy reading this blog post from a person who continually inspires me -- Jennifer Louden. Her blog post is titled, "When are you going to come out of hiding?"

I am definitely coming out of hiding these days! How 'bout you?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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