The Power of Coming Back to Your Foundation

View fullsize

Experiencing imbalance and balance is part of living. How might we lead ourselves from chaos to order? Carl Jung said, “In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” There’s a new way forward waiting for you to discover it. Before making direction-changing decisions, check the integrity of your foundation. Who are you now?

During a coaching session, my client was grappling with a decision that would change the trajectory of her career. She felt clear about what she didn’t want; however, the vision for what she wanted was still fuzzy. We were working together on clarifying her future when she brilliantly said, “I want to revisit my foundation.” To her that meant recognizing what she learned in her current professional role over the last several years, plus naming her values, priorities, and focus.

Whether it’s your career or another aspect of your life that you want to make changes in, don’t start with the vision. Inspect your foundation first. Get to know the person you’ve become, then build your foreseeable future on that bedrock.

Here are some tools to use in your discovery process.

What are the values I choose to live by now?

Values are who we are. They’re not who we’d like to be or who we think we should be. Values describe how we’re living right now. Whether you have your values listed or not, take a fresh look at them.

Here are five different pathways to your values. Experiment with one or more until you’ve unearthed the values that are most meaningful to you, the values that will forge your robust foundation.

• Bring to mind a peak moment in your life, one that was especially rewarding or poignant. What were the values being honored in that moment?

• Bring to mind a moment when you were angry, frustrated, or upset. Name what you were feeling and then flip it to reveal a value. For example, if feeling trapped or cornered caused you extreme frustration, freedom might be one of your values.

• What are your “must haves?” What do you need to feel fulfilled, rewarded, satisfied? For example, you might need creative expression or adventure or excitement.

• Ask yourself these questions from Growing Influence by Ron Price and Stacy Ennis. What are the values by which I govern myself? What are the values by which I relate to others?

• Narrow down your values to only two (yes two!) by asking yourself these questions from Dare to Lead by Brenè Brown. Does this define me? Is this who I am at my best? Is this a filter that I use to make hard decisions?

If you want to look at a list of values as a resource for widening your vocabulary, there are plenty of great resources online. Simple search for a values list.

Don’t rush the process. You may know your values right away or you may want to try some on for a while to see if they fit. Our values can change over time, so give yourself permission to let go of the ones that served you well in the past, and embrace the values that you connect with now.

What do I want to prioritize now?

Start by reading through the lists below. Which area – Life, Leadership, or Career – would you like to focus on now?

Areas of Life                           Areas of Leadership              Areas of Career Career                                     Plan/Budget                            Autonomy

Family & Friends                     Promote Change                     Income

Romance    Stability & Order  Relationships

Fun & Recreation                   Motivate/Inspire                     Vision/Strategy

Health                                     Problem Solve                         Managing Change

Money                                     Align People                            Development

Personal Growth                   Organize/Staff                        Creativity

Physical Environment           Establish Direction                  Support

Next, rank your satisfaction in each of the categories below the area you chose. For example, in the area of Life, the first category is Career. Use a scale of 1-10: 0 = extremely dissatisfied and 10 = extremely satisfied.

Last, choose which of the categories you want to focus on improving. This is where it might get tricky. You don’t have to select the lowest ranked one. You get to choose based on what’s most important to you now. You might pick the one that will mitigate the most pain, the one that will have the biggest positive impact or the one that’s most exciting to you.

I know, choosing can be hard! And yet, it will propel you forward in seemingly magical ways. I like what Tony Robbins has to say about it, Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.

By naming your values and prioritizing, you give yourself a firm foundation to stand on. From this clear, stable, and steady place, what’s one step that you will take right now to move you 10% closer to what you want? I’d love to hear about your experience with this! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Freeing Our Work Spirit

Our poor work spirits have taken quite a hit during this pandemic. By “work spirit” I mean the part of us that loves the work we’ve chosen to do and relishes the rewards we receive for doing it well. I’ve talked with people who are still working in their jobs, people who have laid off all their employees but are still working, and solopreneurs trying to stay afloat. Everyone is exhausted.

It takes an inordinate amount of energy to work right now. Our internal systems are overloaded by analyzing decisions that didn’t require our attention a month ago. We have to ask ourselves: Am I far enough away from that person? How can I reduce the number of trips to the grocery store? How do I not look like a total dork on Zoom? Why aren’t I using this time for my big, dream projects? It’s no wonder we’re wiped out!

How do we free ourselves so we can enjoy our work again? We can’t extricate ourselves by continuing to do the same things faster or longer, or forcing ourselves with mean internal thoughts, or comparing ourselves to other people we imagine never get stuck.

I propose giving ourselves some grace and space to loosen the ropes that are constricting us.

Consider these untying tips for freeing up your work spirit.

Mighty Metaphor

What’s a metaphor that represents how you want to feel about your work or business right now?

We get stuck in the stories we tell ourselves. They become our truth even though they are most likely not true. This process shifts our perspective and opens us to new viewpoints.

Here’s an example to jump start your imagination. Metaphor: My business has been in a car accident, t-boned by another vehicle. It’s not my fault and yet my business is physically injured. I need to help it heal. When our bodies are healing, we take care of them and know that recovery will take time with plenty of ups and downs along the way.

What metaphor comes to mind for you for your work environment? How might a change in perspective shift your attitude and actions?

Sweet Self-Compassion

As soon as I utter the words, “We need to give ourselves even more self-compassion,” anyone I’m with says, “Yes!” We innately know that compassion is a good thing.

The most basic definition of self-compassion is talking to yourself with the same kindness you would use with a friend. My go-to person in this area is Dr. Kristin Neff (self-compassion.org).

Dr. Neff offers this activity that you can do right now:

1. Put both hands on your heart, pause, and feel their warmth.

2. Breathe deeply in and out.

3. Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently, in a warm and caring tone:

This is a moment of suffering.

Suffering is a part of life.

May I be kind to myself in this moment.

May I give myself the compassion I need.

How are you feeling now? Simply notice.

Soothe Yourself

Consider what you need physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Remember that when you’re taking care of yourself, you are immensely more effective at taking care of the other people and work in your life. It is not selfish. Imagine putting the oxygen mask on yourself first or filling your cup so you have plenty to share.

A participant recently shared this concept with our leadership development group. Each of us shows up to work with one cup of empathy. We can either pour all of it on one person or disburse it drip-by-drip throughout the day. When it’s gone, that’s it. The problem is that sometimes the cup is emptied at work and we have nothing left for our families. The group immediately wondered, “How do we increase the size of our cup so we have more empathy to give?” The answer. Take care of ourselves first.

How might you take a little better care of yourself? The people and work in your life will thank you. What is one practice that you will do for the next week to free your work spirit? I’d love to hear what worked for you. Connect with me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Your Body as a Decision-Making Power Tool

By Jalene Case 

Plugging into our bodies’ way of communicating is like using a decision-making power tool. It quickly drills to the core. Whether we’re struggling to make tiny, seemingly inconsequential choices or gigantic, clearly life-changing decisions, our bodies know the answer first.

It’s easy to rush through life without taking time to notice our physical sensations. In fact we often try to actively ignore our bodies by not listening to their plea for sleep, urge to move, or hunger for good food. Feel familiar?

That denial of our bodies’ voice also shows up in our decision-making process. For example, have you ever made a list of pros and cons to help you make a choice and, more often than not, ended up in analysis-paralysis? Did you feel that even though there were more pros on the list, you wanted to make the opposite choice? Interpreting what our bodies are trying to tell us is more than a gut-feeling-style approach.

Health expert Dr. Christiane Northrup sums it up well, “Our inner guidance comes to us through our feelings and body wisdom first ⁠— not through intellectual understanding.”  

Here are some ways to practice connecting with your body’s wisdom as a tool in the decision-making process.

Feeling Yes and No

Think back to a time when you made a memorable decision. The instant you chose, did you feel something in your body, such as a cold clenching in your gut or a flood of warm relief in your chest? Paying attention to your body grounds you, brings you into the present, and is a pathway for listening to your inner wisdom.

Read through these steps and then close your eyes and go through the process:

• Ground your feet firmly on the floor and take a deep breath into your belly. Let the rest of the world drift away. Breathe naturally for a few breaths and feel your body’s sensations. Where do you feel tension, pain, tingles, or warmth? Simply notice. You don’t need to do anything right now. Relax. Bring all your energy to this moment.

• Bring a question into your mind and feel the answer in your body. For example, you may be deciding whether to accept a job.

• Imagine what your life would look and feel like if you said yes to the job. Include every detail you can imagine with your senses. Imagine what you’re wearing, the location of the job, the work you’ll be doing, the people you’ll be around, the scent of the place, the taste, the colors. Imagine yourself in the world you created by saying yes to this decision.

• Notice what you feel in your body. Where do you feel it? Is there tension? A warmth? A tingle? A glow? A knot? Does it feel like a yes or a no?

• Next, imagine saying no to the job and go through the same process. After feeling the yes and the no in your body, which choice feels right for you at this moment?

Flip to Choose

In a similar vein, a co-worker, Mindy, taught me a different twist on feeling your way to a decision. Think about the choice you’re facing and then flip a coin. Imagine that heads means yes and tails means no. Look at the result and immediately notice what you wish the coin had revealed. Therein lies your heart’s true desire for the answer.

Emotional Vocabulary

“How do you feel?” can be a simple and yet, vexing question. It’s easy to respond with good, bad, mad, happy, sad, and even, “I don’t know.” Add to that our common business culture of not revealing feelings. Naming our emotions becomes tricky! However, connecting more specifically with how we’re feeling can help us see the nuances of a decision more clearly.

Dr. Brené Brown is in the process of researching emotional literacy. I imagine this will help us recognize our feelings more precisely by expanding the words we use to describe them. For example, describing how we feel as overwhelmed instead of simply tired or worried instead of mad. The words we use can often change the context of the situation and, as a result our actions.

Write to Feel

Bring a particular situation to mind. Start with the prompt of, “I feel…” and then write for five minutes without stopping. You might include the physical location of sensations in your body, and a description or metaphor that illustrates how it feels. Often the process of writing will bring clarity to the words swirling around in your mind and the feelings emanating from your body.

Mindfully Feel

This is my favorite quick connection to my body’s voice. Go to a private place in which you’ll be comfortable closing your eyes for a minute.

• Close your eyes. Put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath.

• Notice the feeling of your hand on your body, and your feet on the ground or your bottom on the seat.

• Bring a situation to mind, perhaps a pending decision. Internally ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Immediately notice the physical sensations that come. People hear their body in different ways so simply notice what happens for you. There is no right or wrong way to listen to your body. How do you interpret what you hear?

Heeding our bodies’ wisdom takes practice, like any skill we want to improve. Choose one of the methods above (or create your own!) and practice listening to what your body has to share about your next decision.

I would love to hear what works for you. Please send me a note at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

How to Create an Environment that Supports You

By Jalene Case 

The environment we build for ourselves—both externally and internally—influences how we show up and engage in our lives. Look around you. As you take in your surroundings, how do you feel? That feeling will follow you into whatever you’re doing next.

From 2015 to 2017, my husband and I traveled on our motorcycles, mostly in Latin America. My ability to control the surroundings changed dramatically and yet, the external world still influenced how I felt inside. For example, when we stayed in a place that felt good to me, I was inspired to write a blog post or make a video call to friends at home. When I found a private place to write in my journal, I could process the myriad of travel experiences.

Now I have more control over my surroundings. I decide how I want those spaces to look externally so they rev up my internal desires, goals, and visions. 

So how do your create your own supportive environment? Here’s an outline and some questions to consider: 

External Environment

Workspace

What does your dream workspace look like? Is it starkly minimalistic or wildly chaotic? Whichever way you choose, use an organization system that fits your style to increase productivity and decrease frustration. Give yourself permission to design the best space for you.

Storage Spaces (computers, bags, vehicles, etc.)

We can easily fall into the trap of storing too much “just in case” we need it and end up lugging around or being surrounded by a lot of unneeded clutter. What would serve you best to have nearby? How can you access it quicker? What can you let go? 

People

The people we surround ourselves with establish our “norm.” In other words, if most the people you hang out with don’t exercise, you probably won’t exercise either. If most the people surrounding you are always learning, you most likely will also. 

Malcolm Gladwell says, “The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.” 

Places

Where do you spend time outside your work and home? Are those places supporting you? For example, trying to eat healthy and yet going to fast food places is incongruent. Trying to meet people from the business community and joining your local Chamber of Commerce is supportive.

Internal Environment

Emotional

Our emotions drive us even though we’re usually not aware of it. Whether we rank high on the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) scale or we’re a bit out of touch with our emotions, we can all benefit by improving in this area. 

The foundation of EQ is self-awareness. To grow that skill, try this:

• Ask yourself three times a day, “How am I feeling?” Set an alarm on your phone and when it goes off, internally ask yourself the question and answer with a word that best describes your feeling. This will grow your self-awareness and your vocabulary for describing emotions.

Physical

How does your body feel? Take a scan of your body and consider what you might do to help it feel better.

I had a big ah-ha when my husband and I were out traveling on our motorcycles. I knew it was important to sit-up straight when I was riding but I wasn’t doing it. As a result, I had to contend with an injury for several months. The ah-ha was that in order to sit-up straight, I had to strengthen my stomach muscles. That meant I had to exercise. The same is true for standing up straight and feeling energetic on a regular basis. In order to do those things, we need to move our bodies. 

Mindfulness: Combining Our External and Internal Environments

Mindfulness is defined as, “a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” For me, this powerful combination of internal and external environments brings feelings of peace, calm, and focus. 

Try it yourself: for 10 seconds, notice the feeling of your feet connecting with the ground or your bottom connecting with the seat. Simply noticing connects our mind to our body. What do you notice? How do you feel? How can you support yourself in this moment?

We have the power to create an internal and external environment that supports us in being who we want to be and doing what matters most to us. Take a look around you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “What is one thing I could change to make my environment more supportive?”

When to Emulate and When to Originate

In school, we’re always told never to copy a fellow student’s work. That’s cheating! It’s a forbidden, punishable, no-no. But as you move through life, you may find that there are times when imitation can be a valuable technique, especially when you’re in the process of learning a new skill. However, you’ll soon find that to reach the next level of success, you must move from emulation to developing your own expertise. 

After 35 years of working for other companies, I decided to go out on my own almost two years ago. As I built my business, I earned several certifications, received challenge and support from my coach, and was inspired by many people along the way.

I’ve been climbing a steep learning curve. Recently, I hit a plateau. After taking stock of where I had been and where I envisioned going, I saw the next mountain to climb. It was time to stop emulating the people and programs I had learned from, and start refining my own voice and style.

Imagine your teachers, coaches, and mentors as training wheels on a bicycle. If you’re going to truly have fun and excel at riding, you need to lose the training wheels! Yes, you’re going to wobble. You’re going to fall down. Then, you’re going to feel the wind in your hair and have a blast riding!

Here are tips to move from mimicry to “my way:”

Do It Your Way

Use all the material you’ve learned and then, unlearn it, and do it your way.

Frank Boyden, a founder of the nearly 50-year-old Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, envisioned a place where artists could come unlearn all the stuff they had learned in the Masters of Fine Arts programs. He knew that while an education is important, eventually an artist must develop his or her own creative voice to truly be successful.

How can you inject a bit of your voice the next time you’re practicing a new skill? For example, in becoming a better leader. What idea have you held back from sharing with your team? Share it in your way at the next meeting.

Teach, Present, Write

The best way to learn something—and to find your own voice in it—is to teach it! Challenge yourself to teach a class, present an hour-long Lunch & Learn session, or write an article or blog post.

For example, you could learn about presentation skills by attending Toastmasters meetings or watching Ted Talks. After being inspired by people who do it well, find a place to practice speaking in your voice. Volunteer to present at your local Chamber of Commerce, Rotary organization, or other groups that interest you.

Good Theft vs. Bad Theft

Emulating another person’s style or work does not mean flat-out copying it and presenting it as your own. I believe it means paying attention to what you notice other people doing that sparks something inside you. For me, there’s an inner voice I sense that says something like, “Wow! That’s cool!” or “Ooooo, I’d love to learn how to do it like that,” or “Oh. I never thought of doing it that way. I like that.”

In Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon lays it out like this:

Good Theft                                        Bad Theft

Honor                                                 Degrade

Study                                                  Skim

Steal from many                                Steal from one

Credit                                                 Plagiarize

Transform                                          Imitate

Remix                                                 Rip off

Let’s be good thieves, not bad thieves!

You’ve Got It In You

Years ago, I said to my therapist, “My dad drives me crazy because he’s so judgmental!” To my horror, she said, “You know that when we notice something in someone else, it’s because we have it in us, too.” Nooooo! That was not what I wanted to hear, even though she was spot-on.

Since then I’ve learned that the opposite is also true. When I notice a leader who is willing to be authentic, to boldly say what he or she believes, and generously share to help others, I remind myself that I’m capable of that also.

Who are the people that inspire you? What exactly is it that you notice? Know that you also have that quality inside you. What would it look like to express it?

Create for the First Time

Does your work involve designing documents, presentations, videos, forms, systems, websites, etc.? Mine does. I deeply appreciate that building things like that takes a lot of time, energy, and expertise. (I feel the pain!) When people offer to share their work with me, I quickly say, “Yes! Thank you!”

For example, I have used another person’s PowerPoint presentation as a foundation and then customized it with my style. Often when I need to build a new system or process, I ask my Mastermind group members how they do it and then tweak it for myself. Website design inspiration comes from bookmarking websites I love so that when it’s time for me to make changes, I have fuel to stimulate my creative juices.

Wrapping It Up

Children imitate parents. Mentees mirror the style of mentors. Students regurgitate the right answers for exams. Emulation and education help us grow—to a point. Have the courage to kick off those training wheels and ride all-out! Ethically, honorably, and intentionally use the work of others and then, do it your way.

---

GROW • STEP OUT • LEAD • DO

I help people grow, so they can step out of their comfort zones, take the lead, and do what matters most to them.

EXPLORE:

Executive Coaching

Teams

Workshops

Speaking

Gratefully Overwhelmed

Hey there!

How can we help ourselves when we love most of the activities and people in our lives but it’s all just too much? Lately I’ve been feeling tired, tense, overwhelmed and even though I also feel grateful for all of it, I needed a shift to a sustainable pace.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

Offering

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence

Join us for one day of serious fun and recharge your entrepreneurial spirit!

Focus on getting out of your own way so you can increase your financial wealth.

1-Day only with Zoom available!

Saturday, 9/22/2018, $50

I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

Doing It Your Way

Hey there!

“Doing it your way” sounds like a dandy idea but actually having the guts to do it is a different story. Join me as I slow down that moment in time when I decide, “Yes! I’m going to do it my way!”

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

Offering

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence

Join us for one day of serious fun and recharge your entrepreneurial spirit!

Focus on getting out of your own way so you can increase your financial wealth.

1-Day only with Zoom available!

Saturday, 9/22/2018, $50

I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

Unhappy to Happy Birthday

Hey there,

What do you do when your emotions are out of whack?

When our feelings surprise us (like feeling unhappy on a birthday!), it's a sign that there's something going on beneath the surface. Perhaps fear is lurking there. Perhaps an old belief is lingering. Whatever it is, the way beyond it is often by digging into it.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation.Learn more. 

Personal Development

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence 9/21-23/2018

Recharge your entrepreneurial spirit at the Oregon Coast! I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.

"I have a dream." What's yours?

I'm creating this post on August 28, 2018, exactly 55 years after Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.

When was the last time you gave yourself the time and space to dream of what you really want in your life?

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

What is your first step — your small dream — on the pathway to your BIG dream?

I'd love to support you, baby step-by-baby step, in making your dreams real.

Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation.Learn more. 

Personal Development

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence 9/21-23/2018

Recharge your entrepreneurial spirit at the Oregon Coast! I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.

What are you struggling against?

Let's shift from the pushing, hard energy of struggling to the softer, more open energy of ease and flow.

What are you struggling against these days? How might you get past that Saboteur voice in your head — the mean inner critic that says things like you're not enough and makes things way to complicated! — and gently lean into doing what you really want to do? 

Offering

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Check out my new coaching packages!

Professional Development

I help groups of individuals who want to become a team, focused on the right work. Learn more. 

Personal Development

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence 9/21-23/2018

Recharge your entrepreneurial spirit at the Oregon Coast! I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.