Why Less is More When It Comes to Goals

Envisioning a magical scenario in which you’re doing everything you want to is exhilarating, in the beginning. However, adding a dose of realism can give you the best chance of accomplishing what matters most to you.

I see this in myself, my clients, and my friends. We want to do it all right now! We have the best of intentions and list of exciting to dos. Fanning the “do it all” flame is an internal voice that says something like, “When I do it all, I’ll be happy.” Ouch.

In the first month of working with a business coach, I sent a long email with all my precious plans. Secretly I thought he’d be impressed. Instead, his reply was precisely, “Rank the three most important items.” Another ouch! I truly believed that they were all important and thought there was no way I could choose only three.

Now, I’m in that messy space of growing my prioritizing skills and while it’s not a pleasant experience, the end results are bringing me a sense of grounded, purpose and calm. And yes, I managed to choose only three most important items.

 “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Neil Peart

Before I dive into making tough choices, which I don’t enjoy doing, I like to take a deep breath and remind myself of why I want to what matters most. Think big picture. Why is it important for you to do the things on your list?

Keep your why in mind as you continue reading.

Ruthlessly Choosing

Start with a brain dump. Write everything that you want to do. Let yourself go wild! If it’s helpful, you can make lists by areas. Ex. work, home, physical, learning, fun, etc.

Next, choose the three things that you will do during each of the following time periods: 30 days, 90 days, and 12 months.

If you want to challenge yourself, list ten things you want to do in the next 10 years.

Warning: Beware of your internal voice. The process of choosing can activate your inner gremlins. Watch out for internal dialogue like this: You don’t need to choose! You’re smart, you really can do it all! No, I don’t want to choose! If I don’t do it all I’m a loser! Look at (insert name of a person you admire) he/she can do it all! Simply notice that mean inner voice but do not engage with it. (Note: The reason I used all exclamation points is because your saboteur voice is loud and insistent while your authentic voice is quiet and calm.)

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown

Consistently Focusing

Now that you know what you want to focus on, how will you support yourself in sticking to it? For me, I know I can’t do it alone. I need what I call the “Weight Watchers” approach. On a regular basis, I need to “weigh-in” in front of another human being to keep me out of the denial zone and in the real zone.

You could hire a coach, partner-up with a friend, colleague, or family member, and/or join a group such as a mastermind that includes accountability. Another person might ask questions or share observations that spur your commitment or make you more aware of what does (and does not!) help you.

To prepare for meeting with your support tribe, you’ll need to track your progress. Developing a system that works for you is the key here. The basic elements for a goal system are writing what you will do, when you will do it, and why it’s important to you. While you’re working hard to keep it real, magic can happen.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” Tony Robbins

Joyfully Celebrating

Don’t skip this part! Neuroscience shows that celebrating teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. Find a way that feels good to you. Try putting your arms in the air and saying, “Yes!” or “Yay me!” Do a happy dance. Keep track of your little and big wins by writing them down. Oh, and have a wee bit of fun while you do it.

“The more you celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Oprah Winfrey

You can do this! Choose, focus, celebrate and pay attention to what happens next. I’d love to hear the tips and tricks you use and the ones you learn as you work through this process. Send them to me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Gratefully Overwhelmed

Hey there!

How can we help ourselves when we love most of the activities and people in our lives but it’s all just too much? Lately I’ve been feeling tired, tense, overwhelmed and even though I also feel grateful for all of it, I needed a shift to a sustainable pace.

In the spirit of creating lives we love!

Jalene

Offering

Women Entrepreneurs Retreat: Financial + Emotional Intelligence

Join us for one day of serious fun and recharge your entrepreneurial spirit!

Focus on getting out of your own way so you can increase your financial wealth.

1-Day only with Zoom available!

Saturday, 9/22/2018, $50

I'm teaming up with Julia Carlson, Founder & CEO of Financial Freedom Wealth Management Group to offer a weekend for connecting with your dreams, purpose, and financial strategies. Learn more.

Executive & Personal Coaching

I help powerful female leaders who are always improving (and sometimes anxious!) do what they want. Learn more.

Professional Development

I help teams who want to be more potent, and are struggling with communication, goal setting, collaboration, accountability, decision making, and participation. Learn more. 

Failing & Hiding

Hi!

I've been writing a blog post every week since the first of the year and this week, I failed. Yup. I didn't do it. Rather than beat myself up, I forgive myself with love and compassion. I've been stretching into some new areas lately and I imperfectly juggled the balls I have in the air (like blogging!).

The stuff I've been doing for the first time include singing lessons (to strengthen my speaking voice), prepping to speak at a Women's Symposium, and facilitating a team using some psychometric tools designed to help them learn about their behaviors and motivators. I'll have lots of insights to share soon!

In the meantime, I thought you'd enjoy reading this blog post from a person who continually inspires me -- Jennifer Louden. Her blog post is titled, "When are you going to come out of hiding?"

I am definitely coming out of hiding these days! How 'bout you?

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

View fullsize

Practice Sparks Passion

View fullsize

This morning I delivered my very first speech at Toastmasters. I joined the group because I wanted to improve my public speaking skills. Pretty straight forward and kind of mundane, right? Maybe, but in the three short months between starting in January and speaking today, something big inside of me changed.

For several weeks, I’ve been struggling with exactly why I’m in this group.  Today, after being reminded once again to project, so that everyone can hear me, I know. I don’t need to simply speak louder. I realized that the real reason I joined the group is this: I'm ready to strengthen my voice and use it to join the many people who make positive contributions in our world. I found my real "why!" Even more importantly, I could feel the spark of my "why" in my heart.

The next ah-ha that flooded through me was that just like practicing yoga has strengthened my body, practicing speeches will strengthen my voice. And, the sweet, dark chocolate sauce drizzled on top of the whole experience was that I knew the feedback I received from my fellow Toastmasters was exactly what I needed to hear as I began my journey through this new doorway toward speaking publicly. Suddenly I thought, "How cool is this?! I don't need to find places to speak to practice. I can practice right here and receive constructive comments to boot!" 

Practice. It's not sexy, often not fun, almost always humbling and yet it's at the crux of expressing our passion from the core of our true selves.

What are you practicing?

Know that whatever you're practicing, that is what you're getting better at doing.

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

P.S. Thank you Yaquina Toastmasters!

View fullsize

I help individuals and small businesses clarify their vision, build stronger connections with themselves and others, reach the results they want, and find more joy and satisfaction along the way. 

Executive & Personal Coaching

Professional Development

Personal Workshops

Let's connect at: JaleneCase.com • LinkedIn • Facebook • Twitter