What’s in Your Self-Resource Toolbox?

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“We have exceeded our surge capacity,” is a phrase I heard recently from Jennifer Louden. I thought, “Yes! That’s what it feels like! My inner surge protector is fried.” At the same time, I realized that I’ve been learning, along with my clients, friends, and family, how to survive the recent deluge of disasters. I bet you have, too.

Changes, especially uncontrollable changes, can leave you craving a way to get beyond the tornado of emotions so you can stand on firm ground again. How can you help yourself move forward? Self-resourcing. By gathering support resources, you can be there for yourself, and as a result, be there for the people you care about most.

Before diving into resource ideas, let’s start with a definition. I define self-resource as being a collection of support sources that can be used to help you be who you want to be, and do what you want to do, especially during challenging times.

Here are some ideas to get started. Try them or use them as springboards to create your own unique collection of self-resourcing tools.

Physically

• Pay attention to what your body is telling you. The physical pain you feel can be an emotional trauma that has manifested in your body. For example, lower back pain might really be related to a traumatic event in your life. (Like a pandemic!) Identifying the origination of the pain can change how you help your body heal.

•  Give yourself permission to move your body in a way that’s pleasurable. Dance with no one watching, stretch those stiff muscles, take a walk. Don’t get trapped by thinking that you’re not doing it right or for long enough. Get curious about what your body is calling for now.

Intellectually

• Write down the unconscious thoughts running around in your head to bring them into your conscious mind. Then, give yourself permission to set some of them aside. By mindfully compartmentalizing your fearful thoughts, you will be able to direct your full attention more effectively toward what’s most important at the time.

• Learn something new or improve in an area that will help you in multiple areas. For example, a coaching client decided that developing her emotional intelligence skills will support her in growing into a big promotion that she received. Depending on your bandwidth to learn right now, this can be on a large scale or tiny. No judgement here. Tiny growth is powerful!

Emotionally

Why bother noticing how you’re feeling? By naming what you’re feeling, the emotion can move through you. When you deny your feelings, they get stuck inside and escape in unexpected ways such as outbursts at people you care for. I appreciate this description from The New York Times, “… naming our emotions tends to diffuse their charge and lessen the burden they create. The psychologist Dan Siegel refers to this practice as ‘name it to tame it’.” (The Importance of Naming Your Emotions, by Tony Schwartz)

Having trouble identifying what you’re feeling? Here’s a way to practice. Set an alarm on your phone to go off three times a day. Each time, answer this question in your mind, “How am I feeling?” There’s no right or wrong answer. In my experience, I notice not only my awareness increasing but my emotional vocabulary growing. Instead of simply saying good or bad, I say focused or distracted. This exercise will improve your self-awareness which is the first step in growing emotional intelligence.

Spiritually

By spiritual, I mean that place inside that feels sacred to you. How can you give yourself more time in that space, even if it’s 10 seconds here and there? The quickest way for me to get that peaceful place is to close my eyes and take one deep breath in, during which I pay attention to my body’s sensations. I usually feel tingles in my chest and a sense of settling. That’s it. That’s enough.

If you have a spiritual practice that you’ve set aside, how might you pick up even a piece of it to resource yourself?

Bonus: Powerful Questions

I love the possibilities that good questions create. Here are some of my favorites that I’ve worked with lately. Which one(s) will increase your resourcefulness?

As you answer these questions, consider, “Will this choice enlarge or diminish me?” (Inspired by the work of James Hollis.)

• What am I willing to accept?

• What do I have to look forward to?

• What choices do I need to make?

Draw a line vertically down the center of a piece of paper. On one side write, “What feels fixed or unchangeable?” On the other side write, “What can I do to help or make myself better?” (Inspired by Jennifer Louden in The Writer’s Oasis.)

Take a moment to list five things you will do to resource yourself. Remember, resourcing yourself directly translates to serving the people who matter most to you. I’d love to hear what’s in your self-resource tool box! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Freeing Our Work Spirit

Our poor work spirits have taken quite a hit during this pandemic. By “work spirit” I mean the part of us that loves the work we’ve chosen to do and relishes the rewards we receive for doing it well. I’ve talked with people who are still working in their jobs, people who have laid off all their employees but are still working, and solopreneurs trying to stay afloat. Everyone is exhausted.

It takes an inordinate amount of energy to work right now. Our internal systems are overloaded by analyzing decisions that didn’t require our attention a month ago. We have to ask ourselves: Am I far enough away from that person? How can I reduce the number of trips to the grocery store? How do I not look like a total dork on Zoom? Why aren’t I using this time for my big, dream projects? It’s no wonder we’re wiped out!

How do we free ourselves so we can enjoy our work again? We can’t extricate ourselves by continuing to do the same things faster or longer, or forcing ourselves with mean internal thoughts, or comparing ourselves to other people we imagine never get stuck.

I propose giving ourselves some grace and space to loosen the ropes that are constricting us.

Consider these untying tips for freeing up your work spirit.

Mighty Metaphor

What’s a metaphor that represents how you want to feel about your work or business right now?

We get stuck in the stories we tell ourselves. They become our truth even though they are most likely not true. This process shifts our perspective and opens us to new viewpoints.

Here’s an example to jump start your imagination. Metaphor: My business has been in a car accident, t-boned by another vehicle. It’s not my fault and yet my business is physically injured. I need to help it heal. When our bodies are healing, we take care of them and know that recovery will take time with plenty of ups and downs along the way.

What metaphor comes to mind for you for your work environment? How might a change in perspective shift your attitude and actions?

Sweet Self-Compassion

As soon as I utter the words, “We need to give ourselves even more self-compassion,” anyone I’m with says, “Yes!” We innately know that compassion is a good thing.

The most basic definition of self-compassion is talking to yourself with the same kindness you would use with a friend. My go-to person in this area is Dr. Kristin Neff (self-compassion.org).

Dr. Neff offers this activity that you can do right now:

1. Put both hands on your heart, pause, and feel their warmth.

2. Breathe deeply in and out.

3. Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently, in a warm and caring tone:

This is a moment of suffering.

Suffering is a part of life.

May I be kind to myself in this moment.

May I give myself the compassion I need.

How are you feeling now? Simply notice.

Soothe Yourself

Consider what you need physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Remember that when you’re taking care of yourself, you are immensely more effective at taking care of the other people and work in your life. It is not selfish. Imagine putting the oxygen mask on yourself first or filling your cup so you have plenty to share.

A participant recently shared this concept with our leadership development group. Each of us shows up to work with one cup of empathy. We can either pour all of it on one person or disburse it drip-by-drip throughout the day. When it’s gone, that’s it. The problem is that sometimes the cup is emptied at work and we have nothing left for our families. The group immediately wondered, “How do we increase the size of our cup so we have more empathy to give?” The answer. Take care of ourselves first.

How might you take a little better care of yourself? The people and work in your life will thank you. What is one practice that you will do for the next week to free your work spirit? I’d love to hear what worked for you. Connect with me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Rejuvenating July

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I’m deeply appreciating the value of taking superb care of myself. I know that when I give myself what I need to feel energized, I’m more happy and satisfied in my life. The result is that I feel connected with my heart’s voice, my mind’s focus, and my body’s energy.

With that in mind, I’m starting a new ritual of taking time to rejuvenate twice a year, in July and December. During that time I will not be writing my blog or posting on social media. Instead, I will be taking a deep dive into projects that are calling to me.

This July I will be:

• Creating a bold, expansive, deep experience for clients who want to reimagine who they want to be. The idea originated during my travels in Patagonia and I can’t wait to share it with you!

• Reinventing this blog.

• Honing my business purpose and goals.

• Enjoying summer in the Northwestern US!

What will you do to rejuvenate your heart, mind, and body?

See you in August!

Jalene

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Enjoy summer and I'll see you again in August! I'm still working and would love to hear from you :)

I believe that creating lives we love (at home and at work!) starts with our hearts.

That belief is woven throughout my work as an Executive & Personal Coach and in facilitating Professional and Personal Development. Reach out to me to talk about how my offerings might serve you and/or your organization.

Let's connect! LinkedIn • Facebook • Twitter • JaleneCase.com • (541) 272-2337

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What's Next?

Self Care Shine

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Why oh why do we think it’s selfish to take superb care of ourselves? I don’t think that…anymore.

This is one of the many inner changes that came from traveling on a motorcycle for 23 months. (More on that here if you haven’t heard the story.)

I make way less money now than I’ve made in decades and yet, I spend more on self care than I ever have. Crazy, right?

As we prepared to return from our travels in South America last year, I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder what would happen if I committed to taking awesome care of myself for a year?” I daydreamed of joining a yoga studio, getting back into running, getting regular massages, eating well, and not overloading my plate with “to dos.” It hasn’t turned out exactly as I had envisioned, but it looks pretty close and the results, almost a year later, have been shocking. Here are a few:

• On the inside, it feels like I’m on my own side.

• I trust myself more often to do what I say I'm going to do for myself.

• I do my best to tend my energy rather than spend it until it’s over spent.

• None of that familiar whine, “I’m soooo tired.”

• I feel good in my body, stand taller, thrill in nudging myself further in yoga.

Now I think of self care as the special sauce for success!

I’m not preaching; I’m learning right along with you. Of course I’m not perfect at this, that’s not the aim. I’m with myself for the rest of my life so it just makes good sense to take care of myself. Why oh why is that such a whacky concept for us to get our heads around? Now it’s your turn…

What do you do for basic self-care?

Now kick it up a notch. What does superb self-care look like for you?

I double-dare you to try it for 3 months, 6 months, or a year!

In the spirit of knowing ourselves,

Jalene

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I help individuals make the jump from wishing to doing, and professional teams transform from awkward tension to potent interaction.

Here are 2 offerings for you. Give yourself the precious gift of time to learn more about who you are now and what's most important to you.

Women's Symposium located in Lincoln City, OR on June 23rd.

Befriend your Creative Self located at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology near Lincoln City, OR on August 12th.

Explore all the details and, as always, you're welcome to contact me with your questions.