Seven Ways to Remove Obstacles

You can have well-planned, daring, or exciting goals and still get knocked off track. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it. When obstacles sneak in, you might feel confused, frustrated, deflated, or mad. Fear not! Pulling together a mixture of tools, strategies, and awareness can help you get past those obstacles so you can do what matters most.

In my experience as an executive coach, stumbling blocks show up primarily in three different ways: 

1. You know you’re stuck and know why but can’t seem to fix it. 

2. You know you’re stuck and have no clue as to why. 

3. You don’t know you’re stuck but know something is amiss. 

You’ve probably felt all of these at some point. I sure have. The difference for me now is that I’m more aware of how I feel when I sense a block in front of me (visible or invisible), more willing to see what’s really in my way, and have more tools to help myself. 

There are two different ways to think of obstacles. Internal: getting in our own way. External: something or someone on the outside getting in our way. Here are four tips for removing the obstructions in your way.

Internal Obstacles

What’s going on inside you can control what happens on the outside. The main culprit is your saboteur voice. This internal voice may be the most dominant, invisible obstacle of all!

I like this definition of saboteur from Positive Intelligence, “Saboteurs are the voices in your head that generate negative emotions in the way you handle life’s everyday challenges. They represent automated patterns in your mind for how to think, feel, and respond. They cause all of your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness. They sabotage your performance, wellbeing, and relationships.”

Your internal saboteur lives to construct obstacles! Here are three ways to deal with that mean inner voice from the book Taming Your Gremlin. 

• Simply notice. These phrases can indicate the saboteur voice is at work: you can’t, you’re not enough, you shouldn’t. When you hear these, simply notice. Don’t argue with it. Don’t negotiate with it. Simply notice. This improves your self-awareness and even though it’s happening on the inside, this skill makes a big difference in what happens on the outside.

• Play with options. “Play” is the operative word here. When you’re playful and curious, your saboteur voice goes into hiding. It likes you to be serious as a heart attack and scared.

• Be in process. This will take hiring someone like a coach or counselor depending on the topic. A professional can take you deeper to get at root causes.

External Obstacles

What’s on the outside of you that might be blocking you? Here are some areas to explore. 

Knowledge

You might want to take on a new project and berate yourself for procrastinating when really, a crucial piece of knowledge may be the missing link between you and your goal or dream. Do you need to learn something new or reach out to someone who’s an expert to get rid of an obstacle? 

Environment

Look around you. Is there something that’s bothering you? For me, this is often clutter. When my space is messier than normal, my mind is more chaotic. When I’ve saved too many documents on the desktop rather than building a good filing system for them, I get frustrated when I can’t find things. These seemingly small bumps in the road can be blocks.

Action

Think about your habits, systems, patterns, the action you’re taking, etc. What are you doing that no longer serves you or is tripping you up? Consider letting that go and replacing it with a new action that will move you toward your vision. For example, I’ve had clients who didn’t have a system for setting and tracking their goals. By designing a system that works for them, they knock down obstacles and achieve more meaningful goals.

Think about an area you feel stuck and then, think of one tiny habit that will get you moving in the direction you want to go. In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear shares a story about a man who wanted to exercise. The first habit he developed was going to the gym for five minutes. After he became a person who goes to the gym, he started adding time in small increments. I love this because even taking baby steps in the direction you want to go sparks momentum.

Obstacles happen. Don’t let them stop you from reaching your well-planned, daring, or exciting goals! You can get past what’s blocking you. Start with some of these tips and add some of your own to build strategies that work best for you. I’d love to hear what you do when obstacles pop-up! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part seven in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self-leadership. You can read the previous post here.

How to Move Forward, Especially When You Don't Feel Like It

Behaviors move you closer to what you want. We all know this. But what happens when you don’t feel like doing the thing that you promised yourself you’d do? 

Think about a new habit you’ve been trying to develop or a meaningful goal that you’re working toward. What are the consistent actions or behaviors that you must do to continue moving in the direction you want to go? 

As an example, here’s a peek into how this is showing up for me right now. I’m committed to writing one blog post a month and yet, when the reminder pops up to get started, it lingers on my to-do list for a frustratingly long time. When I see “write blog” on my task list every morning for at least two weeks, I feel a punch-in-the-gut sensation every darned time. That’s followed by a smattering of negative self-talk that sounds something like this: “You need to get that done! Why do you put it off? I’m not in the mood to do it now, so I’ll wait until I have the right kind of energy and I’m excited about doing it.” 

Let’s unpack that scenario and I’ll share some knowledge and techniques I’ve learned to positively support myself.

Challenge: Getting It Done

In writing classes, Kim Stafford, a friend and poet, teaches that being a writer means showing up and doing the work even if you’re not in the mood that day. In other words, don’t wait until you feel like doing the work! He and his dad, poet William Stafford, showed up at 4 a.m. nearly every day to write poetry. 

The behavior of writing on a regular basis was connected to their larger vision and goals such as writing books. 

Think about the behaviors that will move you closer to your vision and goals. The action step may seem small but, rest assured, when it’s done repeatedly over time, it can be mighty.

Challenge: Putting It Off

I use what I call a consistent action technique that I’ve created to support myself.

Ask yourself: What tiny, tenacious steps will lead to accomplishing my goal(s)? 

Break those down into what you will do daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and/or annually. Use timeframes that make sense for you. For me, this information lives in a document I designed called Self-Leadership Blueprint. Plus, I add repeating calendar reminders so the consistent actions land on my task list for the day. 

Once a month I read my Self-Leadership Blueprint with nine strategies, which include visions, goals, and consistent actions. Then I adjust as needed. 

Imperfectly using this process can support you in taking consistent action toward your goals.

Challenge: Not Being In The Mood

This one is tricky so let’s dig deeper into it. 

Your mood, feeling, or emotion is transient. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey offers this description of what happens:

When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again. 

When I’m stuck in the loop of feeling an emotion over and over again, I use a strategy that a previous coach taught me. I do something different to shift my energy. 

Here are some of my favorite energy-shifters: take a walk, go to a movie, listen to music and dance (I have a playlist for just these times), stretch, go outside and take some deep breaths, go work at a hip coffee shop, or listen to a guided meditation.

In my experience, once my mood has shifted, I do much better work, in a fraction of the time it would have taken me, as compared to chaining myself to the desk until I finished the project.

As you can see, I finished writing this blog post. I’m celebrating that with a, “Yay me!” and I encourage you to do the same when you complete that next tiny step. Remind yourself that you’re moving closer to what matters most to you. 

How will you make consistent action part of your routine? I’d love to hear. Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part five in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership. You can read the previous post here.

How Are You Showing Up?

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” You’ve no doubt heard this popular quote by Woody Allen. But I would add that how you show up matters. Your interactions with others, and even with yourself, can shift from ineffectively blah to purposefully engaged when you’re thoughtful about how you show up. It’s palpable to everyone in the room. 

My first coach taught me this strategy for getting the results I wanted from meetings. In addition to setting a clear agenda, she suggested asking, “Who do I want to be?” Think of this as defining how you want to show up, the energy you want bring to the space, the character traits that you want others to see and feel from you. I’ve taught this to many clients over the years, and they’re always surprised by the impact of this seemingly simply preparation step. 

Now I use this technique before all my meetings or high-stakes discussions. Here’s what it looks like in action. I plan as much as possible before the interaction and then I ask myself, “Who do I want to be?” Some of the words that come up, depending on the situation, might be bold, courageous, intuitive, curious, open, inquisitive, a good listener, or authentically me. Just before the meeting, I remind myself of a few key words. Intentionally setting the atmosphere in advance influences how I speak, interact, and listen. 

Here’s the caveat: Tuning into who you want to be requires your cup to be full. To fill your cup means to replenish your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical energy. It means that you need to refill your energy stores so that you have enough for yourself, as well as enough to share with others. You might be able to power through getting tasks done, but when your energy is sapped, it takes a lot of extra umph to fake who you’re being. That’s not enjoyable or productive for you or the other person!

In a Harvard Business Review article, Alyssa F. Westring wrote, “Ample research has shown that nurturing our brains, bodies, and spirits can help us be more effective at whatever we put our minds to.” She goes on to share that to start figuring out how to nourish yourself, you can pay attention to when you feel invigorated and when you feel drained. For example, notice when you feel energized, excited, joyful, focused, or peaceful. These are indicators that your cup is full. Conversely, notice when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depleted. Look for patterns. Get curious. Experiment. Observe what works and doesn’t work for you at this point in your life. It’s possible that what recharged you in the past doesn’t anymore, so keep a look out for outdated habits.

Consider building faithful habits to recharge your energy in these four areas: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says that in order to create a new habit, it needs to be obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. 

Start by declaring one thing you’ll do in each of the areas above. For example, feed yourself:

• Mentally by reading to learn for 5-30 minutes a day, five days a week.

• Emotionally by journaling every morning, starting with 3-5 things for which you’re grateful.

• Physically by doing 30 minutes of exercise a day, five days a week.

• Spiritually by listening to a guided meditation daily for 10-30 minutes.

As with any new habit, start with one and start super-small. Give yourself full permission to expand what’s working and let go of what’s not working.

How you feel is only part of the equation. The other part is the people around you. Once you’re aware of whether you’re feeling vibrant or drained, observe the people around you. Internally ask yourself questions such as, How is she responding? How is she showing up? What has changed, or not, about our interaction? In other words, be aware of how who-you’re-being effects other people. 

I think of this process of choosing who I want to be (aka how I want to show up) as wholehearted being. Dictionary.com defines wholehearted as, “Fully or completely sincere, enthusiastic, energetic, hearty, earnest.” Consider defining who you want to be at work, at home, and in that next meeting. I’d love to hear your experience as you focus on who-you’re-being. Send me a note to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part four in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership. You can read the previous post here.

5 Tips to Habits that Fit Your Life Now

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Positive habits result in a sweet sense of satisfaction. Are your habits doing that for you? If not, it might be time to strengthen the routines you want to keep and toss the ones that no longer serve you.

This is personal for me. My habits have changed dramatically to fit a 35-year corporate career, two years of traveling by motorcycle in Latin America, and three years of running a business. Each of those areas required very different routines. I bet your helpful habits have changed over the years, too.

I continually get better at seeing how my habits work for me and against me. Recently I asked myself, “How do I fortify the habits that are helping me so I can more easily reach my desired outcomes?” That question lit my curiosity.

As my awareness of habits has increased, I’ve come to believe that whether we’re aware of them or not, they’re a powerful force in our lives. Now, I want to see and use them. I want my habits to bring me feelings of accomplishment, satisfaction, and joy!

If you’re curious about your habits, here are some places to begin honing them.

Start with stopping.

What habits are no longer serving you? They might be left over from another time in your life. Maybe you started doing them unconsciously and, although you know they’re not helping, you’re having trouble unhooking from them.

One of the habits that I’ve stopped is related to taking breaks. My habit was to never take a break at work. Almost all the time, I would eat lunch at my desk, while working on the computer, and not take morning or afternoon breaks.

Thanks to my coach, I stopped that habit. She helped me see that taking breaks actually increased my productivity. Now, I take morning and afternoon breaks, usually with a healthy snack, plus a lunch hour which typically involves eating while listening to a podcast and then listening to a guided meditation.

This habit took time to change. Initially I felt like a loafer! Slowly I noticed a shift. My belief changed from “no breaks means I’m a hard worker” to “breaks mean I’m a smart, productive worker taking care of myself so I don’t burnout.”

How are beliefs connected with habits?

I believed that not taking breaks proved I was working hard. I thought working more hours meant I would be more successful. Now I believe that when I take better care of myself, I do better work which leads to more meaningful success.

Which comes first, the habit change or the belief change? That’s like asking, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” It could go either way. In my example of breaks, first I changed the habit and then my new belief hatched.

Choose what you want first.

Snazzy new habits will lose steam fast if they’re not truly hooked-up with your desires. So, “What do you want?” That’s a simple question and yet so tough to answer sometimes. 

The reason I focused on taking breaks as a habit was because I wanted to build a business in which I could take care of myself rather than burning out like I’d done in the past.

I suggest starting simple. What’s one thing you want? Play with creating one habit related to it. Here’s a trick for making habits stick. Build a habit chain by connecting a new habit to a current one. For example, while drinking coffee in the morning (current habit) write in your journal (new habit) or, when you first sit down at your desk (current), take time to plan your day (new). A habit chain will make new habits easier to start and stick to.

What do you want to learn more about before creating a new habit?

I’ve found that sometimes I don’t know what habit will help me. In that case, learning a new perspective, approach, or process is what guides me toward a new habit.

For example, in the taking a break scenario, my coach introduced the new perspective that breaks lead to increased productivity. Right now, I’m trying out a time-blocking approach I learned from the book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. I’m also experimenting with a process for connecting with potential new clients. All of those areas will be stronger with good habits.

K.I.S.S. = Keep It Simple Sweetie

When I’m at my best, I keep things simple rather than complex. Imagine one area of your life that you truly want to make better. Use the tips above to choose one habit that you’re pretty sure will move you closer to what you want. Try it for an appropriate time period. If it works, continue doing it. If it doesn’t work, try a different habit.

You get to be in charge of the habits that you stop and start doing. By noticing them, you can choose to let go of those getting in your way and fortify the ones that will move you toward what you desire. What’s one simple habit that you’ll commit to taking for a test run? I’d love to cheer you on! Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.