How to Move Forward, Especially When You Don't Feel Like It

Behaviors move you closer to what you want. We all know this. But what happens when you don’t feel like doing the thing that you promised yourself you’d do? 

Think about a new habit you’ve been trying to develop or a meaningful goal that you’re working toward. What are the consistent actions or behaviors that you must do to continue moving in the direction you want to go? 

As an example, here’s a peek into how this is showing up for me right now. I’m committed to writing one blog post a month and yet, when the reminder pops up to get started, it lingers on my to-do list for a frustratingly long time. When I see “write blog” on my task list every morning for at least two weeks, I feel a punch-in-the-gut sensation every darned time. That’s followed by a smattering of negative self-talk that sounds something like this: “You need to get that done! Why do you put it off? I’m not in the mood to do it now, so I’ll wait until I have the right kind of energy and I’m excited about doing it.” 

Let’s unpack that scenario and I’ll share some knowledge and techniques I’ve learned to positively support myself.

Challenge: Getting It Done

In writing classes, Kim Stafford, a friend and poet, teaches that being a writer means showing up and doing the work even if you’re not in the mood that day. In other words, don’t wait until you feel like doing the work! He and his dad, poet William Stafford, showed up at 4 a.m. nearly every day to write poetry. 

The behavior of writing on a regular basis was connected to their larger vision and goals such as writing books. 

Think about the behaviors that will move you closer to your vision and goals. The action step may seem small but, rest assured, when it’s done repeatedly over time, it can be mighty.

Challenge: Putting It Off

I use what I call a consistent action technique that I’ve created to support myself.

Ask yourself: What tiny, tenacious steps will lead to accomplishing my goal(s)? 

Break those down into what you will do daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and/or annually. Use timeframes that make sense for you. For me, this information lives in a document I designed called Self-Leadership Blueprint. Plus, I add repeating calendar reminders so the consistent actions land on my task list for the day. 

Once a month I read my Self-Leadership Blueprint with nine strategies, which include visions, goals, and consistent actions. Then I adjust as needed. 

Imperfectly using this process can support you in taking consistent action toward your goals.

Challenge: Not Being In The Mood

This one is tricky so let’s dig deeper into it. 

Your mood, feeling, or emotion is transient. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey offers this description of what happens:

When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again. 

When I’m stuck in the loop of feeling an emotion over and over again, I use a strategy that a previous coach taught me. I do something different to shift my energy. 

Here are some of my favorite energy-shifters: take a walk, go to a movie, listen to music and dance (I have a playlist for just these times), stretch, go outside and take some deep breaths, go work at a hip coffee shop, or listen to a guided meditation.

In my experience, once my mood has shifted, I do much better work, in a fraction of the time it would have taken me, as compared to chaining myself to the desk until I finished the project.

As you can see, I finished writing this blog post. I’m celebrating that with a, “Yay me!” and I encourage you to do the same when you complete that next tiny step. Remind yourself that you’re moving closer to what matters most to you. 

How will you make consistent action part of your routine? I’d love to hear. Send me an email to Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part five in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership. You can read the previous post here.

How an Inner Foundation Can Keep You On-Track

Life bumped me off-track recently. I needed to catch-up with myself, to remind myself of what matters, to ground myself in who I want to be and how I want to show up. I started by stopping, which isn’t my natural inclination. My default action when I’m overwhelmed is to focus on doing more faster and working longer hours. I’m great at staying busy. That’s the problem. 

I finally realized that in order to catch up with myself, I would need to press pause and reconnect with my foundation so my actions aligned with the future I wanted to create. 

A strong foundation can give you solid ground to stand on when your world feels out of control. It can be a reliable touchstone for reconnecting with what motivates you from the inside out and what defines you. It can steer your actions and get you back on track.

Here’s what I did to get back on track:

First, I did what I call a brain-dump. I wrote out all the things that were in my head to get done on my whiteboards. This process helped me see everything together to get a sense of the big picture. I energized myself by standing up, moving, using colored markers, and listening to music. 

Next, I marked everything that I had made a commitment to do and wrote the date it needed to be done by.

Then I stopped to revisit my foundation so I could use it for making decisions about what to do next. Here are the elements that form my foundation, which I refresh at least annually to keep me grounded and inspired.

Touchstone Foundation Elements

Annual Theme

What is my focus for the year? This is a word, phrase, or sentence that’s a guiding light for the year. 

In 2021, my annual theme is “choose & grow.” I had to chuckle because choosing was exactly what I was facing at the moment! The word grow reminded me that I want to focus on growing my business. This helped me cross off some of the things I had written on the whiteboard.

Core Values

Who am I at my best? What influences hard decisions? Now is when values go to work. In other words, this is what values look like when they’re operationalized. 

For the last couple of years, I’ve reduced my values to only two that I truly use to make tough decisions and describe how I want to show up. (You can find more about this practice in Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.) I looked at my two values of usefulness and connection, and again, crossed-off more to do items.

Purpose

What is the belief or cause that drives me? This is a phrase or sentence that inspires and motivates how you want to live your life. It’s a thread that weaves throughout your life, a theme that shows up repeatedly.

My purpose is to help people connect with themselves and each other so they can do what matters most. I know that when I’m doing something related to my purpose, it’s important to me and will bring a sense of satisfaction and joy. 

Love Notes to Myself

What will I remind myself of when times get rough? These are 2-5 words, phrases, or sentences that will energize you when you need it most. These can change as often as you wish. 

I realized that this was one of those tough times! Reading my love notes was a way to give myself compassion, tenderness, and love. These are a couple of them: K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Sweetie), Be you. I ended up adding this new one: Step Out/Step Up to remind myself that when I’m growing, I’m stepping outside my comfort zone and stepping up to a new level. 

By the time I finished revisiting all of my foundation elements, I felt focused, calm and clear about my direction.

Life will knock you off-track once in a while, especially when you’re the kind of person who is drawn to learning, growing, challenges and changes. Building a solid foundation can give you the inner strength to get out there and be the kind of person that you want to be. If you have questions about these touchstone foundation elements, reach out to me a Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

Note: This is part one in a series of nine blog posts exploring a blueprint for self leadership.