Why Less is More When It Comes to Goals

Envisioning a magical scenario in which you’re doing everything you want to is exhilarating, in the beginning. However, adding a dose of realism can give you the best chance of accomplishing what matters most to you.

I see this in myself, my clients, and my friends. We want to do it all right now! We have the best of intentions and list of exciting to dos. Fanning the “do it all” flame is an internal voice that says something like, “When I do it all, I’ll be happy.” Ouch.

In the first month of working with a business coach, I sent a long email with all my precious plans. Secretly I thought he’d be impressed. Instead, his reply was precisely, “Rank the three most important items.” Another ouch! I truly believed that they were all important and thought there was no way I could choose only three.

Now, I’m in that messy space of growing my prioritizing skills and while it’s not a pleasant experience, the end results are bringing me a sense of grounded, purpose and calm. And yes, I managed to choose only three most important items.

 “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Neil Peart

Before I dive into making tough choices, which I don’t enjoy doing, I like to take a deep breath and remind myself of why I want to what matters most. Think big picture. Why is it important for you to do the things on your list?

Keep your why in mind as you continue reading.

Ruthlessly Choosing

Start with a brain dump. Write everything that you want to do. Let yourself go wild! If it’s helpful, you can make lists by areas. Ex. work, home, physical, learning, fun, etc.

Next, choose the three things that you will do during each of the following time periods: 30 days, 90 days, and 12 months.

If you want to challenge yourself, list ten things you want to do in the next 10 years.

Warning: Beware of your internal voice. The process of choosing can activate your inner gremlins. Watch out for internal dialogue like this: You don’t need to choose! You’re smart, you really can do it all! No, I don’t want to choose! If I don’t do it all I’m a loser! Look at (insert name of a person you admire) he/she can do it all! Simply notice that mean inner voice but do not engage with it. (Note: The reason I used all exclamation points is because your saboteur voice is loud and insistent while your authentic voice is quiet and calm.)

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brené Brown

Consistently Focusing

Now that you know what you want to focus on, how will you support yourself in sticking to it? For me, I know I can’t do it alone. I need what I call the “Weight Watchers” approach. On a regular basis, I need to “weigh-in” in front of another human being to keep me out of the denial zone and in the real zone.

You could hire a coach, partner-up with a friend, colleague, or family member, and/or join a group such as a mastermind that includes accountability. Another person might ask questions or share observations that spur your commitment or make you more aware of what does (and does not!) help you.

To prepare for meeting with your support tribe, you’ll need to track your progress. Developing a system that works for you is the key here. The basic elements for a goal system are writing what you will do, when you will do it, and why it’s important to you. While you’re working hard to keep it real, magic can happen.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” Tony Robbins

Joyfully Celebrating

Don’t skip this part! Neuroscience shows that celebrating teaches our brain to do more of whatever we’re celebrating. Find a way that feels good to you. Try putting your arms in the air and saying, “Yes!” or “Yay me!” Do a happy dance. Keep track of your little and big wins by writing them down. Oh, and have a wee bit of fun while you do it.

“The more you celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” Oprah Winfrey

You can do this! Choose, focus, celebrate and pay attention to what happens next. I’d love to hear the tips and tricks you use and the ones you learn as you work through this process. Send them to me at Jalene@JaleneCase.com.

One-Thing Thinking

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The concept of choosing one thing, as in — one project, one focus, one goal — has shown up in two ways this week and it has me re-thinking my thinking.

First, I listened to a one-hour talk by author Jessica Abel in which she shared the concept of examining our “idea debt inventory” and choosing one project to give our focus. It hit home because I always have tons of ideas begging for my attention (aka “idea debt”) and the notion of choosing only one to focus on at a time brought on gut wrenching anxiety. I noticed that physical sensation, breathed into the near-panic happening inside my body, and continued listening to why choosing one thing makes sense.

The reason that struck me most is that when we choose just one single thing, our minds keep working on it even after we step away from the computer. This leads to getting that one chosen thing accomplished sooner than moving several ideas forward at a snail’s pace.

Second, I started listening to a book that’s been on my Audible.com wish list for several months -- The One Thing, The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller. I haven’t finished the book yet, however I’m really enjoying it. I’m sure I’ll have more to share as I learn from it and use the material to help me in the process of choosing my one thing.

These two experiences felt like a one-two punch and it has my attention. It’s time for me to choose one overall focus for my business and, based on that choice, one project until it’s finished.

What’s the one thing that you want to give your focused attention?

In the spirit of learning,

Jalene

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Can you think of a business with a staff that would benefit by getting to know more about each other so they can communicate better, get the right work done, and enjoy themselves more? I work within organizations as a trainer, facilitator, and executive coach. Learn more here: Professional Development

Can you think of a person who could use some extra support during an extraordinary time of change, who wants to feel more comfortable in their own skin, or who wants to take on an enormous goal? I coach via phone or online so the person can live anywhere in the world. Learn more here: Executive & Personal Coaching

If anyone pops into your mind, please connect us in whatever way works for you:

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• Send an email to both us introducing us to each other.

• Send me the person’s contact info.

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